Penguin Escaped from Bristol Zoo

Fake News written by James Baughn on Monday, August 3, 1998

from the fear-the-penguin dept.

BRISTOL, ENGLAND -- Last year a group of Linux enthusiasts pooled their money to adopt a penguin at the Bristol Zoo for Linus Torvalds. Yesterday, Tux, the penguin, escaped from the zoo. "Since our Windows NT system crashed," a zookeeper explains, "we were busy trying to get it back online. We didn't pay any attention to the zoo animals. That's when Tux escaped. I've never seen anything like this."

Somehow Tux was able to escape from the penguin area, get past the front gate, and waddle half a mile down the street. He was spotted at a Bristol computer store. The owner said, "I was talking with a customer about Windows 98 installation problems when the automatic doors opened. I did a double take when I saw a penguin waddle over to the Productivity section in the back. I swear, the penguin knocked a Windows 98 box to the floor, and started jumping on it violently! He then picked up a Red Hat Linux box and started to waddle out of the store! With the help of several customers we were able to confine the penguin until the police and animal control people arrived."

Tux was returned to the zoo shortly after. Rumor has it the zoo is considering offering a job to the penguin managing the computer system. "This penguin is much smarter than the marketdroid who convinced the zoo to 'upgrade' to Windows NT," an anonymous zookeeper commented.

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