Church of Linux Established

Fake News written by James Baughn on Thursday, August 13, 1998

from the lets-all-worship-linus dept.

SAN JOSE, CA -- The first sanctuary for the new Church of Linux opened today in Silicon Valley. Church founders celebrated by passing out Linux CDs to bystanders and by roasting Windows 98 CDs on a portable BBQ grill. "This is a milestone in computing history," one observer noted.

The Church of Linux has received official non-profit status from the State of California. It is now a recognized religion. "We founded the CoL because, well, we think Linus Torvalds is God," a CoL members said. "Who else could write such heavenly code? We are currently writing an official Bible; right now we are endorsing 'The Cathedral and the Bazaar' as an interrim manifesto."

When asked what beliefs the CoL represented, one member wearing a t-shirt with a large penguin logo said: "Simple. Linus is God. Bill is Satan. Writing closed source software is a sin. Any questions?"

Some industry analysts are skeptical about the Church of Linux. Jessie Burst, Ziff-Slavis writer, wrote in today's AnchorTable column: "These [Linux] people are nuts. Everyone knows that the only true path to salvation is through One Microsoft Way..." John Snorvak, PC Weak columnist added, "A religion based on an OS? Here I've been thinking Amiga users were the strange ones. Shows how little I know."

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