Linux Milestone Reached

Fake News written by David Finton on Tuesday, August 18, 1998

from the linux-and-bloatware-dont-mix dept.

Today, when Linus Torvalds released yet another kernel today, one Linux user noticed something rather surprising.

"I typed 'ls' to list the contents for the 2.1 kernel FTP directory, and it suddenly occured to me that the size of the 'ls' command output actually exceeded the size of the kernel itself!" said Tux, a fat penguin who spends his time running at people at speeds in excess of 100mph (particularly at IT upper management who never see him coming) and eating raw fish.

Rumors of the overly huge 'ls' command output at in the Linux 2.1 directory were confirmed by outside sources (the 2 of them that could log onto the FTP server to begin with, that is). The site administrator confirmed that the 'ls' command accounts for over 93% of the output of the FTP server, while a scant 6% was the result of actual kernel downloading. 0.000004% of FTP downloads were people downloading the kernel patches.

As a result of this new development, a new directory has been created at the kernel headquarters. This new directory will be devoted to patches to the 'ls' command output as new kernels are released and their version numbers rise above the assumed number of protons in the known universe. Users are encouraged to download these patches if they want to find out what's in the 2.1 kernel directory.

When asked if he would use the patches instead of typing 'ls' directly, Tux the penguin burped loudly and patted his stomach contentedly. He never did answer our question, which is just as well, because his breath stank like raw fish.

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