Are You Addicted to Slashdot?
Fake News written by on Tuesday, September 1, 1998
A group of recovering Dotheads have formed the Slashdot Addicts Support Group. The founder of the group said, "Yes, I'm a Dothead! And frankly, this addiction has had a negative impact on my life. At one point it was so bad that I would get the shakes if I hadn't visited Slashdot within the past hour. I nearly failed my CS class because I was always busy reading the latest Slashdot headlines instead of doing my programming labs. Thankfully I am now recovering and I am offering my support to other Slashdot addicts."
Another former Slashdot junkie, Anonymous Coward, said, "After suffering the harmful effects of Slashdotism, I believe the recent study about online depression is true. Slashdot, in particular, made me feel bad. Frequent flame wars, name-calling, "first comment!" posts, and the omnipresent news articles about the latest Microsoft trangressions threw me into a depression spiral. Thankfully, with the help of the SASG, I am now recovering."
Are you a Dothead? Take this short test to find out.
- Do you submit articles to Slashdot and then reload the main page every 3.2 seconds to see if your article has been published yet?
- Have you made more than one "first comment!" post within the past week?
- Have you ever participated in a Gnome vs. KDE or a Linux vs. FreeBSD flamewar on Slashdot?
- Do you have a link to Slashdot on your homepage? Is that link the only thing on your page?
- Do you ever wish you could get Rob Malda's autograph?
- Do you worship Rob Malda? More than Linus Torvalds?
- Do you write humor articles about Slashdot?
- Do you wake up at night, go to the bathroom, and fire up your web browser to get your Slashdot fix on the way back?
- Instead of a TV dinner, do you eat a Slashdot dinner?
- Do you dump your date at the curb so you can hurry home to visit Slashdot?
- When shopping at the mall, do you run into a computer store to see if they have a computer that can access Slashdot?
- Do you dream about Slashdot?
- Do you send Rob Malda a fan email every day?
- Do you think of Slashdot when you order a taco at a restaurant?
- Do you run a Church of Slashdot website?
- Are you a charter member of the Rob Malda Fan Club?
- Do you forgo sex to visit Slashdot?
- Do you run a Slashdot parody site called Dotslash? Crashdot? Segfault?
- Have you donated hardware to Slashdot?
- Did you lease a T3 line so you could download Slashdot faster?
- Is Slashdot your only brower's bookmark?
- Do you get a buzz when your browser finally connects to Slashdot?
- Do you panic when your browser says "Unable to connect to slashdot.org"?
- Have you even made a New Year's Resolution to cut back on Slashdot access... only to visit it at 12:01?
- Have you ever put your mom on hold to finish reading an interesting Slashdot article?