Quickies from the Rumor Mill

Fake News written by James Baughn on Wednesday, October 14, 1998

from the look-ma-no-microsoft-bashing dept.

During the past week several unconfirmed rumors have found their way to Humorix World Headquarters.

Linux 2.2 Codenamed 'Helium'

A janitor at Transmeta leaked a rumor that Linus Torvalds is considering christening the Linux 2.2 stable kernel release as 'Helium'. Helium, a Nobel Gas, is a vapor. Linux 2.2, a kernel that has been long in coming, is currently vaporware. The name Helium seems to make perfect sense.

'Linus' Most Popular Baby Name

A study by the US Census Bureau due out next month supposedly reports that 'Linus' was the number one baby name in the United States during the first six months of 1998. 'Eric' was the number two baby name. The Census Bureau is baffled by the popularity of Linus. One bureaucrat reportedly asked, "What's the deal? The Peanuts character is not that popular."

Elvis Sighted in Linux Kernel

The National Enquirer will run a feature story next week about an Elvis sighting in a computer screen. An Elvis fan in Tennessee reports that she saw Elvis in her monitor while booting Linux. She remembers hearing the words "You ain't nothing but a Linux user..." from her computer's speakers. "Either Elvis isn't dead, or some kernel hacker has laid the ultimate easter egg," she said.

Will Taco Bell Sue Rob Malda?

An anonymous Taco Bell executive reports that the company is mulling over filing a lawsuit against Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda of Slashdot fame. Apparentely Taco Bell is upset about Malda's Taco Hell webpage and his "CmdrTaco" moniker.

Linus Torvalds Museum

Helsinki University is considering opening a Linus Torvalds Museum and Gift Shop in an unused portion of its computer science building. The college wants to become a travel destination for nerds all over the world. If the museum is opened, it will have exhibits featuring Linus' first computer, his first CS textbook, and his first semester report card.

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