Santa Claus Adopts Linux

Fake News written by James Baughn on Friday, November 27, 1998

from the no-presents-for-bill-gates-this-year dept.

NORTH POLE -- In a press release today, Claus & Co. Gift Givers, Inc. announced that the company had migrated all of its computer systems to Linux. "Delivering millions of presents all over the world in one night is certainly a mission-critical application," the press release stated. "Linux is the perfect choice."

In previous years, Claus & Co. used a mix of Windows 95/NT and Solaris machines. "We had some serious problems last Christmas Eve," the head elf of media relations told Humorix. "A series of Windows NT servers bluescreened just hours before Santa's departure. It being a holiday, any chance of getting Microsoft tech support was non-existant. After much frantic work, the elves were able to make the machines operational and retrieve the all-important gift database from backups at the very last minute."

The elf continued, "The next day Santa held an emergency meeting where he declared, 'We're not going through that again! It should be quite obvious that NT stands for Not Trustworthy.' After much debate the Claus & Co. board of directors agreed to upgrade all of our systems to Linux. The monetary savings from using free software and older hardware has been astronomical. With the extra money we were finally able to retrofit Santa's sleigh with jet engines. Now we don't have to mess with those annoying reindeer and their constant requests for higher salary."

It looks like Linus Torvalds will be getting everything on his wish list this year.

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