Ed Puts Foot in Muth
Fake News written by on Saturday, January 2, 1999
REDMOND, WA -- Ed "the Mouth" Muth, Vice President for Software Development and Silly Walks at Microsoft, has often delighted Linuxites with his verbal blunders and his ignorance of computers. At a recent conference, someone in the audience asked him about Microsoft's plans to embed Windows CE into 'smart' cards.
"I am one hundred percent behind this new technology," said Muth enthusiastically. "Why, when I'm playing blackjack, I often want to know what card is on top of the deck. We are currently in the process of buying Intermec, Inc., which will enable us to develop a card reader that plugs into a USB port. Office 2002 will contain an integrated application that will tell me the suit, number and colour of every card, along with its position in the deck. Let's see Robin Hood and his Merry Men top THAT!"
"Isn't that cheating?" someone asked.
"No, it's just aggressive business practice," said Muth cheerfully, before moving on to field questions about Office 2002, scheduled for release in late 2003.