Do You Want Fries With That?

Fake News written by Kirk Rafferty on Sunday, March 21, 1999

from the can-i-supersize-my-kernel? dept.

OAK BROOK, IL -- Not to be outdone by the multitudes of vendors creating their own release of the popular Linux operating system, McDonald's President and Chief Executive Officer, Jack M. Greenberg, today announced the release of McDonalds McLinux 1.0 (Happy Meal Release).

"McDonalds recognizes the importance of having as many varieties of Linux on the market as humanly possible, and we're just happy to be a part of it" Mr. Greenberg said. Currently there are roughly 750,000 different Linux distributions on the market.

Mr. Greenberg was quick to point out that "McLinux will not be just another distribution. "Our distribution is fully configurable through our BigEmacs interface." Screen shots of the BigEmacs interface show an easy-to-use icon-driven interface. For example, users may select from a small, medium, or large kernel. When a package has finished installing (or "cooking" in McDonald's distribution-speak), a high-pitched buzzer goes off, which the distribution may get around to turning off eventually.

When pressed, however, McDonalds spokesmen admitted that BigEmacs won't be quite as customizable as rival Burger King's "Whopperconf" install tool. "If you want a custom configuration we will ask you to pull your mouse off to the side and wait until we bring it out to you."

The announcement coincides with McDonald's newly redesigned "McPortal" which will "include such features as McSlashDot and McFreshMeat--popular news services that will languish under a heat lamp until most traces of geekiness have been sucked out of them, to be repackaged in cardboard."

Distribution rival Red Hat corporation responded to the news by destroying their web site and lowering the concurrent user limit of their ftp site to 10.

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