Nude Source Initiative Launched

Fake News written by James Baughn on Thursday, April 8, 1999

from the something-not-invented-by-al-gore dept.

If a term is used by Al Gore, it has no meaning anymore. That's the philosophy of the Nude Source Initiative (NSI), a campaign to replace the over-used term "Open Source" with a fresh, new moniker, "Nude Source". Said one NSI founder, "Open Source is a pointless buzzword bandied about by marketdroids, PHBs, and, most recently, clueless Presidents of Vice...er, uh, well, you know who I'm referring to. It's time for the free software community to unite behind a new term that hasn't been co-opted by outsiders. 'Nude Source' is the ticket."

In a press release, the NSI presented several contentions for why Nude Source should replace "Open Source" and "Free Software":

  • Nude Source conveys a similar meaning to Open Source and Free Software. Argued one NS advocate, "People can easily define the term 'nude'. There's no ambiguity. With Nude Source, people will expect that the underlying, uh, source will be, ah... readily accessibly for, ahem, fooling around with. Hmmm... that didn't sound quite right. Well, you get the idea. While 'Open Source' requires long, tedious explanations that most pundits and PHBs won't understand anyways, 'Nude Source' is a very self-explanatory concept."

  • Al Gore won't ever think about abusing the term 'Nude Source' on his website. With the whole Bill Clinton/Monica debacle, Al Gore will do anything he can to avoid association with the term 'nude'. "We can kill two birds with one stone," bragged the NSI press release.

  • The vast majority of queries at search engines involve X-rated topics. Nudity is one of the them. Sites plastered with the term "Nude Source" will instantly have much higher prominence at many search engines. A person looking for pornography may wind up downloading and installing Linux that same day. As one NSI member said, "That's a Good Thing(tm)."

  • It eliminates the whole OSI vs. SPI, Eric Raymond vs. Bruce Perens vs. Richard M. Stallman flamefest. In fact, RMS may actually endorse the term Nude Source. We can just imagine his glee when he can truthfully say, "The GNU programs grope and finger are licensed as Nude Source Software..."

As a publicity stunt, the NSI is offering a new quad-CPU Alpha computer to the winner of its Nude Source Logo Contest. One of the judges of the logo contest admitted to us, "We've been having some trouble. It seems 90% of the entries so far have been, well, inappropriate for family use..."

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