Humorix Files for IPO

Fake News written by James Baughn on Saturday, June 5, 1999

from the i-hope-i-get-stock-options dept.

In a move to capitalize on the burgeoning open source movement and the exploding demand for Linux humor content, our parent company, Humorix World Domination, Inc., has filed with the SEC for an Initial Public Offering of US$129.95 worth of common stock. The IPO is underwritten by Silverman, Flaks & Co., Tom Weasal Partners LLC, and E*Raid Securities, Inc. As per SEC rules, we cannot make any comments about the IPO or our company, but we have attached below our prospectus summary. The full S-1 prospectus can be obtained at the SEC website by searching for the NASDAQ ticker symbol FAKE.

PROSPECTUS SUMMARY

HUMORIX WORLD DOMINATION, INC.

OUR BUSINESS

We are a leading provider of online Linux humor, news, parodies, and other content. Our PORTAL Web site, HUMORIX, is a popular source of Linux, Microsoft, and Slashdot humor for an expanding worldwide community of geeks. We are committed to serving the interests and needs of Linux humor readers and to sharing all of our content with the open source community.

OUR MARKET OPPORUNITY

The rapid growth of the Internet in recent years has accelerated the development of Linux and open source software. This rapid growth equates to an increasing demand for Linux humor and diversions. Our PORTAL Web site, Humorix, has received a 512% increase in traffic over the last ten months.

OUR STRATEGY

We seek to enhance our position as a leading provider of Linux humor and related services by:

  • Continuing to enhance our PORTAL Web site with frequently updated humor material, including (but not limited to) fake news, parodies, and ficticious business documents.

  • Expanding the HUMORIX brand awareness in the Linux community by bribing the maintainers of Slashdot and other prominent Linux sites into frequently plugging the Humorix PORTAL Web site.

  • Forging strategic alliances with other Linux companies; we agree not to make fun of them if they advertise on our PORTAL Web site.

  • Expand into new products and services; for instance, sell a bunch of cheap Taiwan-made T-shirts and mouse pads with the Humorix logo slapped on them.

SUMMARY FINANCIAL DATA

(From July 25, 1998 to May 31, 1999)

Gross income: $71.12
   Amazon.com referrals: $1.12
   DreamHost referrals: $70.00

Expenses: $215.00
   DreamHost PORTAL Web site hosting: $100.00
   Domain name: $100.00
   ElCheapo*Bytes Linux CD Set: $15

Net profit (loss): ($143.88)

SUMMARY OF RISKS

THIS OFFERING INVOLVES A HIGH DEGREE OF RISK. YOU SHOULD CAREFULLY CONSIDER THE RISKS DESCRIBED BELOW BEFORE DECIDING TO INVEST IN THE SHARES OF COMMON STOCK.

RISK #1: WE MIGHT GET SUED

Big Evil Companies (BECs), the kind of institutions that Humorix frequently pokes fun at, employ large legal departments ready and able to file lawsuits over defamatory content or trademark violations. While Humorix is mostly protected from BECs by the First Amendment and the Fair Use Doctrine, such legal protections may not be sufficient defense against a well-paid legal team out for blood, especially if said team is based in Redmond.

RISK #2: MICROSOFT COULD ACQUIRE US

The threat of Microsoft Acquisition (MA) is an omnipresent danger for any tech company. MA and the subsequent "assimilation" of Humorix employees and culture would have a negative impact on our financial success, to say the least.

RISK #3: WE MIGHT RUN OUT OF LINUX HUMOR IDEAS

Only a finite number of humor pieces can be written before every possible joke has been told two dozen times. Such a calamity has already happened to numerous print comic strips, most notably Dilbert® where every other strip pokes fun at the stupidity of the Pointy Haired Boss(tm). Moreover, Peanuts® and The Family Circus® have never been funny, however we sincerely don't expect Humorix to ever degenerate to that level.

RISK #4: OUR AUDIENCE MAY START SPENDING MORE TIME HAVING A LIFE IN THE REAL WORLD AND LESS TIME SURFING PORTAL WEB SITES

While we predict that this disaster only has a .01% chance of happening, it is something we can't readily prepare for.

RISK #5: OUR ABILITY TO GENERATE REVENUE FROM ADVERTISEMENTS MAY BE ADVERSELY AFFECTED IF SUFFICIENT NUMBER OF USERS REALIZE THAT THEY CAN EASILY BYPASS ADVERTISEMENTS BY TURNING OFF IMAGES IN THEIR BROWSER

While our subliminal advertisements embedded in the source code to our PORTAL Web site are effective, they alone would not be able to meet our expenses.

RISK #6: THE HUMORIX STAFF HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE HOW TO RUN A BUSINESS

Enough said.

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