Treaty of Helsinki Signed

Fake News written by James Baughn on Wednesday, September 1, 1999

from the what-about-linux-versus-beos? dept.

HELSINKI, FINLAND -- A cease-fire in the flame war between Linux and FreeBSD has been reached. A group of two dozen Linux and FreeBSD zealots met in Helsinki to ratify a treaty bringing a temporary end to the hostile fighting between both camps. "Today is a good day for peace," one observer noted. "Now both sides can lay down their keyboards and quit flaming the opposing side on Usenet and Slashdot."

The cease-fire is a response to the sudden increase in fighting that has occured over the past two weeks. The Slashdot server became a victim of the cross-fire this week when thousands of Anonymous Cowards and Geek Zealots posted inflammatory comments that amounted to, "My OS is better than your OS!" Many nerds, suffering withdrawl symptoms when the Slashdot site slowed to a crawl, demanded that the bickering stop.

"I can't take it anymore! It takes two minutes to download the Slashdot homepage -- assuming the site is actually online. I must have my 'News for Nerds' now! I realize that Slashdot is being migrated to a load-balanced system, but I'm not sure if that will help. Thousands of crusaders posting flames in this petty holy war will bring down any website no matter how cosmic the configuration. The fighting must stop," one Anonymous Coward ranted.

Indeed, with the Treaty of Helsinki, the fighting and flaming has stopped. But for how long is the big question. History is not on the side of those who want peace.

Last month's Treaty of Holland, an agreement between three dozen Anonymous Cowards and Rob Malda, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Under the agreement, the ACs would agree not to post any more First Post! (or Second Post!, or 348th Post!) comments. While the quantity of these posts subsided for a few weeks, they seem to be coming back. The Army of Anonymous Cowards is not easily controlled.

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