Humorix Announces Faux Dot Com Service
Fake News written by on Thursday, October 14, 1999
HUMORIX WORLD HEADQUARTERS -- /HypeNewsWire/ -- In an effort to leverage its burgeoning portal website to gain entry into the so-called "Astroturf Consulting" market, Humorix World Domination, Inc. (NASDAQ: FAUX) announced today a new subsidiary company called Faux Dot Com. The primary service of Faux Dot Com is FauxFoo(tm), in which sponsors can submit articles that will be presented on the Faux portal website as unbiased market research reports from the prestigious Faux consulting labs.
"FauxFoo represents the first competitive challenge to the GartnerGroup in the Astroturf Consulting market. Up until now, Gartner has had a monopoly on regurgitating Microsoft press releases and presenting them as independent, unbiased reports from Gartner's research department," James Baughn, founder of Humorix said.
The power of the patent-pending FauxFoo(tm) system is demonstrated in the following "independent" report published today on the Faux Dot Com portal website:
LINUX BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD
While the Windows family has some potential for growth, we feel that Linux will achieve World Acceptance by 2004.
Core Topic: Hardware & Operating Systems: Client-Operating-System Technologies
Key Issues: How will IBM, Microsoft, Novell, and Apple respond to Linux's vastly superior qualities? How will the technology and markets for client operating systems evolve during the next five years?
The concept of slided bread revolutionized the bakery industry. In many ways, Linux represents a similar revolution of the operating system market.
It is the opinion of Humorix/Faux Dot Com Labs that Linux is simply better. Period. For instance, our research indicates that Linux usage improves health and quality of life for users. Headaches go away. Carpal tunnel injuries heal. Allergic reactions aren't as bad. Eyesight improves.
Our research also indicates that productivity for companies that migrate from Windows to Linux can increase by as much as 5100% over a two month span. Downtime is reduced by 34.5%. Employee sick days decrease by 29%. Karma increases by 44.6%.
Bottom Line: Some wackos might claim that Linux is the "hype du jour", but informed people know better. Windows might continue to appeal to MCSEs and Microsoft stock holders, but Linux, as it matures, will always appeal to a much broader audience simply because it's better.
Faux Dot Com's Unix & Midrange Strategies Research Note T-09-6969, 13 October 1999.
This article is published by Red Hat. Additional editorial material supplied by Faux Dot Com. ? 1999. Editorial supplied by Red Hat is independent of Faux analysis and in no way should this information be construed as a Faux endorsement of Red Hat's products and services. Entire contents ? 1999 by Faux. All rights reserved. Reproduction of this publication in any form without prior written permission is forbidden unless a sufficiently large amount of money is deposited in our bank account. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable. Faux disclaims all warranties as to the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of such information. Faux shall have no liability for errors, omissions or inadequacies in the information contained herein or for interpretations thereof. The reader assumes sole responsibility for the selection of these materials to achieve its intended results. The opinions expressed herein are subject to change without notice.
A tentative rate schedule for FauxFoo is as follows:
- Single articles in favor of Linux: $100 per 1,000 words.
- Single articles in favor of other non-Microsoft products: $150 per 1,000 words
- Single articles in favor of Microsoft products: $100,000 per 1,000 words.
October special: Sponsor three single articles, get one free.
Contact Ms. Ava Rice (firstname.lastname@example.org), Sales Representative, for full details.
This press release brought to you by Say Hi to Hype Media Relations, Inc. -- "We Buzz With Buzzwords®"