Teen Arrested For Defacing Computer Store
Fake News written by on Wednesday, March 1, 2000
MURFREESBORO, TN -- A teen was arrested today for covering the windows of a local computer store with papers advocating various causes like "Free Kevin!" and "Don't pay the Micro$haft Tax: Boycott Windows!". In addition, stacks of Microsoft products were found hidden beneath dust-covered boxes of "Barbie's Dress Designer".
"This is outrageous," cried C. A. Pitalist, Jr., Stones River Mall manager. "This pinko-red-commie-anarchist-hippie is obviously trying to destroy the free market economy by blocking people's choice of software."
The incident left many 'Boro-ites confused. Comments ranged from "Who's this Kevin guy?" to "Screw Microsoft!" to "Kill all the #!*%ing Commies!" as black-suited officers closed down the mall.
The teen in question, going only by the nickname "YellowSubmarine" for his personal safety, yelled, "It's all part of Micro$haft's conspiracy! They are working with the government to imprison everybody supporting Open Source... er... Free Software... er... oh whatever it's called now. It's all part of their diabolical plot to rule the world! Don't let them rule you!" The Murfreesboro City Police released YellowSubmarine on grounds that he stop singing the "Internationale" off-key.
Microsoft declined to comment on the situation.