Angry Mob Attacks Geek Compound

Fake News written by James Baughn on Saturday, April 1, 2000

from the it's-not-easy-being-a-dotcom-millionaire dept.

HOLLAND, MI -- It started as an innocent April Fool's Day joke: Taco Boy and his compadres posted Slashdot articles in languages other than English. However, an angry mob of Dotheads, unable to read the postings, started suffering "News for Nerds" withdrawl symptoms within seconds. Within hours they had descended on the Geek Compound in Michigan brandishing pitchforks and yelling "Bring back Slashdot!"

About one thousand Slashdot addicts formed a semicircle in front of Taco Boy's dwelling. While the gathering was relatively peaceful, they did cause quite a nuisance by shouting these verses over and over again:

Those who deny our News For Nerds,
Will be treated today as big fat turds!

We demand our Stuff That Matters,
Or else we'll make something big go splatter!

Please, please, please dear old Roblimo,
Give us news about a Quake demo,

We'll even take a post by your own Jon Katz,
But if you don't comply we'll hit you with this axe!

Yes, April Fool's Day we now hate,
Now give us a fix before it's too late!

So, listen up you dotcom sellouts to Andover,
Stop playing with your billions and send some news right on over!

The time of reckoning is here for Slashdot,
Quit your April 1st joke lest we crash your lot!

Ironically, Rob Malda and company are in Boston today for the Geek Pride & Andover Promotion Festival, so the protest accomplished little except giving the local police something to worry about.

Said one of the participants, "Taco Boy now has a responsibility to provide timely News for Nerds to satisfy his army of Anonymous Cowards. We Slashdot junkies will not tolerate abuse like this happen again. Are you listening Andover.Net? No more April Fool's Day jokes!"

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