Union of Penguinitic GNUist Republics Established!

Fake News written by Comrade Penguin on Sunday, April 2, 2000

from the this-is-not-an-april-fools-day-joke dept.

LINUSGRAD (Washington, D.C.) -- The United States is no more. The 200 year old republic has fallen to GNUist Penguins who invaded yesterday afternoon. The Red Penguin Flag flies over the capital. The Revolution is in motion.

"We have had enough of the oppression of the followers of the Open Source Movement," exclaimed Benevolent Dictator Tux Penguin, now acting as leader of the UPGR. "No one believed us when we ran a Beowulf Cluster for President. So we have taken matters into our own hands. You are now under Penguin rule. This nation's resources have been open sourced. We have crippled the enire planet's encryption systems. Have fun!"

Said one individual, known only as AC since he is hiding from counter-revoultionaries, "It was only a matter of time. The revolution has been proceeding at full speed since the NSA adopted Linux. We have been subverting the government for the last few months and nobody noticed! BWAHAHAHA!"

The UPGR's Red Penguinitic Army has already raided the headquarters of Microsoft, America Online/Time-Warner, Network Associates, and Ziff-Davis. The MPAA and RIAA are next on the list. Bill Gates is currently being publicly humiliated in front of a large crowd in Linusgrad. We haven't yet received word on what the Penguinistas are doing to Jesse Berst or Fred Moody, although we can only imagine that it's really, really bad.

We are victorious... Long live the mighty Union Penguinitic GNUist Republics!

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