Update: Concerning the Revolution
Fake News written by on Friday, April 7, 2000
It was reported by Humorix on April 2nd that an army of Red GNUist Penguins had invaded the US and taken over, establishing the world's first GNUist republic. All I have to say is that this was a hoax. There is no revolution. I am not Comrade Penguin, who never existed anyway. I can confirm what was previously reported by Mr. Splatz: There is no conspiracy. The penguins have not taken over the world (yet).
The whole problem started when some joker cracked into my email account and submitted a story to Humorix World Domination Headquarters using my name and the pen name "Comrade Penguin". The Humorix staff -- still hungover from April 1st festivities -- mistakenly posted the article and attributed it to me. I can reassure you that I am not Comrade Penguin. There is no conspiracy.
I am terribly sorry about any confusion this may have caused. If you want further information concerning this, please visit this website.