Computer Survives The Blue Screen Of Death!
Fake News written by on Monday, June 5, 2000
Last Saturday at 1:26 PM Eastern, Todd Galler opened up Microsoft Word and saw the infamous Blue Screen of Death. Galler, who had just purchased his first computer a month ago, had never seen this screen before. He read the cryptic instructions on the screen. After not being able to find the "any" key, he instead tried the Three Fingered Salute (CTRL-ALT-DEL), but his hand slipped and hit INSERT. He noticed then that his computer was back to normal.
He asked his next-door neighbor Eric, a rabid Linux advocate and President of the local Linux User Group, about the incident. The neighbor nearly fainted. "Your computer survived the bluescreen and then remained stable the rest of the day! Holy cow!"
Eric immediately ran home and submitted the story to Slashdot and every other nerd portal site he could think of. Hemos rejected his submission, saying, "You obviously made that up! We don't accept unconfirmed rumors here at Slashdot!"
He then called an emergency meeting of his User Group. One member who happened to have a Windows 98 laptop (he reassured the group that he was in the process of installing Linux on it) tried to reproduce the incident. He quickly produced a bluescreen, and then hit CTRL-ALT-INSERT. The machine returned to its normal pre-crash operation. "We can't let word of this spread! Our big Linux advocacy rallying cry is the instability of Windows... if people know how to bypass the bluescreen, then they won't even bother trying Linux!"
Word of the incident, however, did quickly spread across the Internet. It eventually reached the Chief Bloatware Architect's office, prompting Bill Gates to hold a hasty press conference. He announced, "This incident just proves how innovative Microsoft truly is. If Microsoft is split up into MICROS~1 and MICROS~2, then what hope will computers have in the future of surviving known issues such as the Blue Screen?"
A few hours later Taco Boy did finally post the story to Slashdot. The resident geeks weren't sure what to make of Bill Gates' announcement. A total of 26 threads popped up with the subject, "WTF?". One AnonCow did post, "Gates is right. How could Microsoft hope to fix the bugs in Windows if they are broken up into Baby Bils?" (Score -2, Obvious Ziff-Davis Pundit).
The five Microsoft employees who designed the Blue Screen of Death while working as members of the "Error Message User Interface Design Team" in 1995 were all unavailable for comment.