DeCSS T-Shirt Used To Commit Piracy!
Fake News written by on Wednesday, August 2, 2000
ABILENE, TX -- College student Cody Potter stunned the world yesterday when he used a T-shirt with the printed DeCSS source code to illegally copy a DVD of "Star Trek XXI: We Promise This Is The Last One". Well, it wasn't the actual DeCSS source code. The shirt contained a Perl script which spits out a bash shell script which produces a GW-BASIC program which outputs a ROT13-encoded Python script that manufactures a Pig-Latin-encoded Java program that finally produces the real DeCSS C source code when executed.
It seems amusing that Cody went to all that trouble to obtain a copy of DeCSS when he could've simply found one in the shadier parts of the Internet. Heck, you can get the source code right here from Humorix (just don't tell anyone from the MPAA, okay?). Simply take all of the capitalized letters in this article, apply ROT13 to them, and XOR each character in turn with all of the capitalized letters in the previous article. The first 53 characters from this set will give you the URL for a Sanskrit webpage that contains the link and password (hidden in the HTML source code) to an FTP site in Latvia where the actual DeCSS source code can be found.
The programmer who created DeCSS was in a state of disbelief after word spread of Cody's actions. "WTF? You mean somebody actually used my code to pirate something? I can't believe it," exclaimed the Scandinavian hacker from his jail cell in the maximum-security prison jointly operated by the MPAA and RIAA in California. "DeCSS is strictly for playing DVDs on Linux boxes. If you want to pirate something, go get one of those MPAA-approved players that contain piracy-enabling Easter Eggs. I don't know why anybody would use DeCSS to make illegal copies of something -- this Cody guy must be an idiot. Or he's on the MPAA payroll. But I repeat myself."
Some conspiracy theorists have already theorized conspiracies. "It's obvious Cody Potter was paid by the MPAA to do this," one stammered. "Before today, their case had more holes in it than Windows security. But now they can actually point to somebody who really used DeCSS to pirate a DVD. How convenient."