Linux Increases Brain Power

Fake News written by James Baughn on Thursday, February 8, 2001

from the everything-is-bill-gates'-fault dept.

We here at Humorix are always on the lookout for news items that we can put a proper spin on to "prove" that Linux is a superior operating system. When we heard about the scientists in Japan claiming that young people are losing their memory abilities and are "becoming stupid" because of their reliance on computers and PDAs... well, we were quite ecstatic.

Let's think this through.

Item: We have a number of people in Japan suffering from severe memory loss and mental impairment.

Item: We can safely assume that many of these people have been using Windows on their desktop machines; and perhaps even a few might have been using Windows CE on their PDAs.

Item: Windows is built around a click-and-drool, mind-numbing, dumbed-down, interface-from-hell that is enough to make any person lose their mind.

Conclusion: It's all Microsoft's fault.

Wasn't that fun? But it gets even better:

Item: Installing a Linux system is often a challenging mental exercise.

Item: A command-line interface requires a certain amount of concentration; if you don't pay attention you might do something stupid as root.

Item: Effectively using each command requires memorizing vast tracks of man pages.

Conclusion: Linux increases brain power.

As a result of these findings, we here at Humorix urge every school and college in the world to immediately replace all PCs running Windows with Linux (or FreeBSD -- which is even better for your mental prowess). The mental health of our children is at stake! Won't somebody please think of the children?!?

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