Hey, Is That Unread Email From 1998?

Feature written by James Baughn on Wednesday, February 28, 2001

from the another-idea-stolen-from-slashdot dept.

It's that time to clear out all of the accumulated stuff from my email inbox that I haven't bothered to respond to since 1998. Keep reading for "Swifties" (no, not "Quickies", that's a Slashdot trademark) about red hats, spam, Word's auto-incorrect feature, and the ultimate video game controller.

Red Hats And Earthquakes

Kit L. Lo writes,

When I was reading the NY Times, I saw a picture of the Pope installing new cardinals in Vatican City. Question: Does Red Hat have anything to do with giving away red hats to the newly installed cardinals? Does Linux have a place in the Vatican (well, the Vatican web site uses Tru64)?

I don't know the answer to that question.

In related news, a major earthquake struck the Seattle area right in the middle of a Bill Gates speech about the innovative new features of Windows XP.

Coincidence? I think not.

Scams And Spams

Recently, my inbox has been filling to the brim with the following piece of spam:

Dear Windows User,

Now you can boost the reliability of ordinary Windows ME, 95 and 98 to nearly the level of Windows NT or 2000, Microsoft's professional and industrial version of Windows (sic).

The new WinFix 4.4 is a very effective way to improve the reliability of Windows, because it makes Windows fault-tolerant and self-repairing. And WinFix is very safe, because it operates completely independent of Windows.

After I stopped ROTFL, I dispatched the Vast Spy Network(tm) to do a little research on the company promoting this gimmick.

The results? "WinFix 4.4" is a distribution of Linux.

But you already guessed that, right?

The Paperclip Did It

Bernhard Rosenkraenzer sent this item:

Tech pundits were shocked earlier today when Microsoft issued a press release entitled "Windows XP Can't Beat Linux".

The article, however, was far less interesting. It merely rambled about the increasing progress and "innovation" of Windows, without mentioning Linux at all.

At first many readers suspected that Microsoft was merely Linux-baiting to draw more attention to their otherwise vapid press release. However, one should never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by Microsoft software flaws. In this case, we have learned that a bug in Microsoft's Word spellchecker auto-corrected the title "Windows XP, CE, NT beat Linux" without prompting the user.

Microsoft officials were not available for comment.

Another Millisecond, Another Bluescreen Joke

I usually ignore email from Hotmail that arrives with an image attachment in Windows Bitmap format. However, the following image, sent in by "Meep!", was too good to pass up. Let's just be thankful that The GIMP can handle .bmp graphics, saving me from booting into Windows (Or did I format that partition to free up more space?) and experiencing yet another bluescreen.

X-Box Controller Prototype

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