Little Billy Smith Sues Kelloggs Breakfast Foods Under DMCA

Fake News written by Glenn Alexander on Tuesday, May 15, 2001

from the attack-of-the-cereal-communists dept.

Little Billy Smith (age 7 1/2) of Cricklewood has instigated a DMCA suit against Kelloggs Breakfast Foods for their distribution of digital content decryption hardware in the form of a plastic decoder ring.

Billy had been relying on a similar cardboard ring made from instructions in the "Little Book of Spies and Secret Codes - Junior Edition" to encode messages for other members of his pretend spy gang. He then sent those messages via Morse code flashlight. Using the Kelloggs ring, Betty Jones was able to decrypt an intercepted message reading "water bomb the girls at three this afternoon behind the swings". As a result she was able to organise a preemptive flour-bombing at 2:55.

"The emotional stress of this loss of confidentiality alone will leave lifetime emotional scars on my client," Billy's lawyer said. "They have given away a device that allows people to decode encrypted digital data from my client's optical network without permission."

"This is obviously a threat to national security," a government spokesperson said. "Until these criminal hacker communist cereal makers are behind bars, no child will be safe from their perversions."

Kelloggs Breakfast Foods declined to comment.

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