Some Old Fogie Speaks Out Against Linux
Fake News written by on Thursday, May 31, 2001
You know, life was much better back in the Good Ole Days of the late 20th Century. Back then Linux held maybe 0.01% of the desktop market. Now it's everywhere.
Go into any software site and it's Linux Linux Linux from frame to frame! And you know what? Most of it is crap!
Take games. I remember when only the best games were ported to Linux. The Windows Lusers had to wade through bargain bin after bargain bin hoping to find something worthwhile in the selection. Now every crappy idea for a Total Immersion Videogame has been done twenty times over for Linux. How do you even know which one is worth connecting your cerebrum to?
You can even get Microsoft Office for Linux if you dig into the back of the shelf. Back in my day, pigs would have flown before that happened. Of course, the creation of the genetically engineering pig-chicken that eliminated world hunger changed all that.
And you knew which hardware companies produced the best stuff because they were the first to release the source code to their drivers. But now everybody does it, so how can you choose which company to buy from?
And only technical people cound configure their systems, while today every five year old in the world knows how to fire up vi and edit a text file. It's all Linux's fault!
And you didn't have to decide which free operating system to install. You had Linux... and Linux... and maybe BSD for the hard-core geeks. Now we have to choose between Linux 54.2, HURD 39.2, AtheOS 40.4, FreeBe 26, HumorixOS 9.6, Matrix 7.8 and MacOS L. You young people just don't appreciate how much freedom you have today.
And when I was a boy, I had to walk 30 metres to the bus stop, uphill both ways, in the snow and rain. We didn't have any of this nonsense about teleporting to school. And we liked it!
And when you got cancer, you died. And stayed dead...