Running Linux Backwards Reveals The Shocking Truth
Fake News written by on Thursday, June 21, 2001
The Church of Self-Righteous Commandment Breaking has shocked the world by demonstrating the effects of running the compiled code of the Linux kernel backwards byte-for-byte.
"We test everything we can get our sweaty little hands on backwards," Father Nick Offenbach, Arch Patriach of the Church told us. "You never know when you will get a free publicity stunt out of something that sounds vaguely Satanic to a pre-jured audience -- you know half the words in any language sound satanic backwards at some speed, but I digress."
"We got one of our young ones to load Linux onto a machine that had an Intel P4 chip with a flaky program counter that runs backwards. When we booted the machine up during mass, the congregation demolished half of the benches trying to scramble out of the church and away from what they were seeing and hearing. It was truly shocking. If you thought Barney the Dinosaur with its batteries inverted chanting 'Bill is Lord! Sacrifice yourself to him now -- use Office' was bad, just wait until you experience this!"
The Priest then took us into a deep vault below the church graveyard where the offending PC was being kept in chains and surrounded by a ring of flowing holy water brought in from the evian spring. Using a long stick which he burned immediately after, he proceeded to press the power button. We were shocked! We were apalled! We were disgusted! To the sound of the Microsoft Jingle we saw the 16-colour Microsoft splash screen and the words 'Windows is starting...'
So there you have it. Microsoft Windows really is the anti-Linux.