ICANN Announces Unlimited TLDs For Private Use

Fake News written by Bernhard Rosenkraenzer on Sunday, November 11, 2001

from the we-want-dot-icannsucks dept.

In a stunning move, the Emperor of ICANN (ICANN Controls All Network Navigation) announced today at a press conference that the "non-profit" organization will make available an unlimited number of Top Level Domains (TLDs) for private use only.

When asked about the "private use only" part, the ICANN chief explained that users can now set the hostnames in their private networks or company intranets to fancy names like mailserver.companyname or spamrelay.aol.

These host names/domain names will, of course, not be visible or resolvable outside the private network.

All you need to do is register your private TLD (pTLD), or subdomain of someone else's pTLD, at ICANN's IntranetNic.com for the "small fee" of $500 per year. All names under any pTLD are guaranteed to be available for new customers. During the next month, customers who sign up for the program will receive the "localhost" name absolutely free.

Microsoft has already implemented this feature in an update to Windows XP, which is automatically installed when launching the online software registration tool. "Companies using pTLDs without paying will be uncovered as the thieves they are", Microsoft spokesman and ICANN member William Ipo commented.

The Bush administration welcomed the new pTLD policy enthusiastically by immediately registering its ".war", ".kill" and ".lies" domains.

"The new pTLD program is a major step in fighting terrorism", Bush spokesman Frank Raud explained. "We can't wait to learn who will register .terror, .al-quaida, .taliban and .bin-laden, and then kill them, the ISPs harboring their gateways, the makers of their routing software, and the companies providing their electricity."

In support of the move, Raud announced a pending law dubbed Secure networkS Service Certification Act (SSSCA) 2.0, outlawing any operating system that allows using pTLDs without registration, or that can easily be patched to do so.

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