Humorix Hopes To Get Rich Quick Before "Dot Org" Bubble Bursts
Fake News written by on Saturday, April 6, 2002
For years, we jumped on the dotcom bandwagon and hoped to become financially independent right away. We did everything we could -- we called our website a "portal" just like everyone else, and we had a wildly successful Initial Public Offering (for a few hours, anyway). However, any hope of striking gold was washed away when the dotcom bubble burst and Silicon Valley became a ghost town.
Now we're jumping on another bandwagon. Since Humorix has never turned a profit, we feel that we are qualified to label Humorix as a non-profit organization. We've registered the humorix.org domain name and now we're all set to cash in on the "Dot Org" craze. This business model seems to be working quite nicely over at the for-profit non-profit Slashdot.org website and now we want a piece of the action.
"It's seems clear that we can rake in more profits as a non-profit organization rather than a for-profit company," explained Mr. G. E. Trich, Humorix's former Investor Relations Officer & Executive Book Cooker (now his title has been shrunk to simply Head Book Cooker). "People never willingly hand over their hard-earned money to a company. But a non-profit organization? When it comes to getting rich quick -- er, I mean, when it comes to fundraising, the sky's the limit!"
We haven't yet drawn up a business plan (or should we call it an organization mission statement?), but we're not too concerned. Now that we've eliminated our stock (formerly Nasdaq: FAUX), we no longer have to answer tough questions posed by both of our ex-shareholders, such as "Why aren't you even trying to make money?" and "Why did you just spend $1.2 million on a new swimming pool for Humorix World Headquarters?"
Some critics charge that Humorix's transformation into a non-profit organization is a scam. "The only reason they registered the humorix.org domain name was because .net and .com were already taken," charged one industry observer who may or may not have actually said that. He might have continued, "No wonder their pathetic attempts at becoming a successful dotcom company never took off -- they didn't even have their own dotcom domain name to start with! Sheesh."
Mr. Yu Surre, the Loan Officer at the Second Local Bank of the Bahamas to which Humorix currently owes $1,695.02 in debt, was unavailable for comment at press time.