Red Hat's Anti-Windows Website Runs On Windows
Fake News written by on Sunday, April 14, 2002
RALEIGH-DURHAM, NC -- In response to Microsoft's "We Have The Way Out" advertising blitz, Red Hat Software last week unveiled its own campaign, "Yes They Have The Way Out". Taking a cue from Microsoft, Red Hat has decided to host its own anti-Windows campaign website on a Windows server.
"Why didn't we think of this earlier?" explained Erik Schweikert, a Red Hat advertising manager. "Already, our Windows 2000 webserver has proven to be slow, crash-prone, and error-prone. According to our testing, one out of every two visitors to YesTheyHaveTheWayOut.com is greeted by a 'Server Too Busy' or other uninformative IIS error message. By showing Windows (in)action, we have crafted the perfect Linux advertising campaign."
If a visitor happens to visit the website during a time in which the Windows server is actually up and running, they will be greeted with a series of pages describing all of the "benefits" of Microsoft software.
"If you don't like powerful user interfaces," one page says, "Microsoft has the way out... into a world of click-and-drool graphical dialog boxes so simple that even a five your old could operate them..."
Another section exclaims, "If you don't like depending your mission critical business on software with the source code available, Microsoft has the way out... into a world of software with locked-down source code designed to prevent malicious hackers from taking advantage of security holes and also ensuring that only well-trained Microsoft engineers make changes to the code instead of your snot-nosed 14 year old nephew."
The rest of the site has other similarly crafted sections showcasing the kind of world that Microsoft allows you to "escape" to. "This is one of the best promotional campaigns that we've spearheaded," explained the Red Hat ad manager. "This is even cooler than that billboard we erected last year showing the Blue Screen of Death with the caption 'Is this really where you want to go today?'"
Not everybody is quite as impressed with the Red Hat promotional endeavor. "Your typical Pointy Haired Boss doesn't understand sarcasm or parody," said a writer for Ziff-Davis. "This stuff will go right over their heads and they'll honestly believe that click-and-drool interfaces and security-through-obscurity really are Microsoft advantages. After all, the only reason that Dilbert is still around is that PHBs don't get the jokes."