Entrepreneur Trademarks "V1ag7a", Other Frequent Spam Terms

Fake News written by James Baughn on Thursday, August 12, 2004

from the exc1t1ng-bu5ine55-0pp0rtun1ty dept.

In a brilliant strategy to make money while fighting spam, Eric Schnurbusch has successfully trademarked over 10,000 frequently used words in unsolicited emails. From L3v1tra® to Sat1sfact10n® and everything in between, Schnurbusch hopes to capitalize on Spamglish, the gibberish language used by spammers to hock fraudulent products.

"Just about every spam message now violates my intellectual property rights," he said. "It's time for spammers to pony up."

Ordinarily, tracking down the real identities of spammers is next to impossible. But since Congress has imposed a "guilty-until-proven-guilty" policy toward intellectual property violations, Schnurbusch hopes to use the DMCA to ferret out the thieves who are stealing his valuable trademarks.

Last year, Schnurbusch wrote a program to sort through his incoming spam and pick out all of the proper nouns that could be trademarked. He then weeded down the list to 10,001 and started filling out the paperwork.

"It was time consuming, and I have since developed symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome, but it's all been worth it," he said. "It's time to cook some spammers."

Once the money starts rolling in from the lawsuits, Schnurbusch hopes to also take advantage of spammers for another purpose: launching a P2P network that shares data disguised as spam.

"What might look like a spam containing line noise could actually be a coded message. While the idea of hiding messages in spam is not new, I hope to take 'spamanography' to the next level. As a basis of a P2P network, nobody will be able to track the messages and therefore the network will be unstoppable. Meanwhile, Congress, which is beholden to spammers, won't do anything to outlaw spam."

"Hey," he concluded, "We spend so much time and money putting up with spam... We might as well get something in return. And if I happen to make a fortune in the process, what's the problem?"

Rate this story

No votes cast