Reports Of Humorix's Assimilation Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Announcement posted by James Baughn on Monday, November 29, 2004

from the there-is-no-conspiracy dept.

HUMORIX WORLD HEADQUARTERS -- The management of Humorix flatly denies allegations that the company received a bribe from Microsoft in exchange for adopting a pro-Windows editorial stance.

"We have not received any kickbacks, stipends, emoluments, bribes, premiums, payments, payola, disbursements, remittances, allowances, hush money, graft, or other currency transactions from Microsoft," stated Humorix founder James Baughn. "The Humorix reporter that posted the original story was... well, slightly mistaken."

Both regular Humorix readers were elated by the news. "Boy was I worried!" said Regular Reader #0. "My day isn't complete without a little Microsoft bashing and Linux advocacy."

Said Reader #1, "The story proclaimed that the Humorix-Microsoft deal was a 'groundbreaking agreement.' I couldn't agree more... Humorix was breaking ground for its own grave. Anybody that voluntarily has promiscuous relations with Microsoft deserves to get sick and die. It's good to see that won't happen."

However, some cynics have used the opportunity to attack Humorix. Said one, "This whole episode was a ploy to fill up space to cover up for their outbreak of writers' block. The use of lame meta-humor is really a sign of desperation. And don't even get me started about meta-meta-humor..."

Nevertheless, we here at Humorix pride ourselves on quality fake news. But even though the story about Microsoft was, indeed, a fabrication, it still crossed the line. Some things are simply too unbelievable to publish. As a result, we have disciplined the reporter with a CLUESTICK (Cranial Laceration User Enhancement System To Impart Critical Knowledge).

We sincerely apologize for any confusion and heart attacks.

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