Slashdot Editors Promise To Actually Edit Stories

Fake News written by James Baughn on Friday, April 1, 2005

from the you-better-sit-down-for-this dept.

HOLLAND, MICHIGAN -- The end is near. After defending wave after wave of criticism from the omnipresent Anonymous Coward, Taco Boy today announced that he and the rest of his staff will actually live up to their titles as "editors."

"I've always believed that 'editor' is simply another name for he-who-knows-the-root-password," Taco Boy wrote in his 6:32 AM CST Slashdot post. "Not anymore. I promise that things will start to change around here."

"For one thing," he said, "We will actually check the archives before posting stories to weed out duplicates and triplicates. And I've written a 100,000-line Perl script that will automatically spell-check our posts."

He added, "We will actually check the archives before posting stories to weed out duplicates and triplicates."

The new editorial policy replaces the old Slashdot editorial policy which was indistinguishable from the null set.

"In the past, I've only posted stories that were submitted by people with cool nicknames," admitted co-editor CowboyPollOption. "Or posts that included bribes. But now I'm actually going to read the posts for content and merit. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

It's not immediately clear whether the new policy will also include editing the posts for grammar and clarity. This might be too much to ask.

"Regular users have come to expect bad English grammar and even worse Perl Slashcode. It's going to be hard for regular users to make this adjustment... if it happens at all," said one industry observer who claims that he once had Slashdot User Account #68 until he suppposedly "misplaced the password." (Whatever.)

The chairman of the Pulitzer Prize award committee was unavailable for comment at press time.

[UPDATE: Damn, it looks like this was merely an April Fool's Day joke by the Slashdot staff. We knew this was too good to be true. The staff of Humorix would like to extend our deepest apologies for publishing this fake news. No, wait, scratch that. We would like to apologize for publishing fake news that we thought was real news under the heading of fake news. Or something like that.]

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