Users Outraged At Non-Porn Domain Typos
Fake News written by on Tuesday, December 6, 2005
CARBONDALE, ILLINOIS -- College student Jacque Johnson was getting ready to show his buddies the new XXX website he had found. But instead of being greeted by the fine specimens of BobsHouseOfT-and-AHotChicksUnlimitedXXX.com, he was horrified to see a "Say No To Sex" website produced by a church group.
"Where the hell's my porn?!?" he demanded as his friends starting laughing. He then realized that he had typed four X's instead of three. "See, it's just a typo!" he frantically tried to explain.
However, on the second attempt, another deceptive non-porn site appeared: the 'American Association Always Advocating Abstinence'. Their domain has two X's instead of three.
"Boy did I feel like a fool," he said later. "My friends will never let me live this one down."
Johnson isn't the first outraged web surfer to become embarrased by the latest trend in domain squatting: mundane sites trying to capitalize on the traffic and mindshare of porn.
"All's fair in love and sex," said one domain squatter promoting a website featuring a 'What Would Jesus Wear?' line of designer clothing. "Since 90% of the Web is porn, this makes perfect sense."
Attempts to fight back against the domain abuse have been fruitless. One advocate wrote their congressmen about the injustice, only to be greeted the next week by FBI agents armed with a search warrant to look for illegal drugs.
"We received intelligence that you have been smoking something," the lead investigator said. "I mean, anybody who would write a letter demanding that Congress pass a law making it easier to access porn is obviously high on something! That's why we're here."
Sending bark letters to the domain squatters hasn't worked either. Retorted one slimeball, "You can't sue us! By visiting our website, you immediately agree to the terms of our End Supplicant License Agreement, which requires that you pay us a US$1.5 trillion penalty if you ever file a lawsuit against us for any reason at any time throughout the Universe. And since you have no way of knowing that we exist until you visit our website, you're screwed!"
One developer, fed up with the growing number of typo scams, is fighting back with a proxy system that warns users when they access a G-rated website.
"When you try to pull up a site that isn't R- or X-rated, the system politely issues a warning that you may have made a mistake," explained programmer Wayne Kerr. "This gives users a chance to double-check their URLs or bookmarks before they come face-to-face with something horrifying, such as the Kansas State Board of Education website."
He added, "Finally, I've found a practical use for censorship!"