Humorix Staff Returns From Lunch Break, Fails To Set World Record

Fake News written by James Baughn on Tuesday, March 31, 2009

from the fail-to-fail dept.

HUMORIX WORLD HEADQUARTERS -- The staff of Humorix made a valiant effort to set a world record for the World's Longest Lunch Break, but initial calculations suggest that the effort has come up short.

"We came so close," said Humorix's lawyer Noah Morals, "but we completely forgot about the Bush Administration. A large number of those folks were out to lunch for at least four, maybe eight, years. We just couldn't compete with that."

Nevertheless, Humorixians are proud of their 14.2 month lunch break. "This was a group effort," said webmaster James Baughn. "It's not very often that you can totally stop publishing something for over a year without anybody noticing. But, alas, we've recently received complaints from both of our readers. I knew it was too good to be true."

Since the Guiness Book of World Records does not recognize the "World's Longest Lunch Break" as an official category, it's not immediately clear who the current record-holder might be. We're pretty confident, however, that it's not Humorix.

"I don't think anybody from the Slashdot Copy Editing Department has been seen since at least 1999," said pundit Jon Splatz. "That's one heck of a lunch break. And need I mention the Windows Vista development team? With that kind of competition, it's hardly worth getting out of bed in the morning."

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