- US Population Expected To Grow Rapidly
ultravioletu, December 18, 2003
Spamming is a high-growth industry.
- Infrequently Asked Questions About The SCO Fiasco
Noah Morals, December 3, 2003
You've got questions? SCO's got lawsuits.
- US Endorses New French-Free Measurement System
James Baughn, November 21, 2003
Can you say 'Library of Congress'?
- Humor Writers Protest In Front Of SCO World Headquarters
James Baughn, November 13, 2003
Humorists just can't compete with SCO.
- The Image Manipulation Program Formerly Known As The GIMP
James Baughn, October 15, 2003
Brace yourself -- we're being invaded by marketing consultants.
- The Don't-Pay-For-Placement Search Engine
James Baughn, October 8, 2003
Finally, a search engine that isn't a dotcom.
- Spam Increases Productivity (According To Spammers)
James Baughn, September 29, 2003
Won't somebody please think of the children of spammers?
- It's Not A Bug, It's A Patented Feature
James Baughn, September 15, 2003
One man has been granted The Mother Of All Patents.
- Making Europe Unsafe For Lawyers
Thomas Tempé, August 29, 2003
Can Europe survive without lawyers? Well, of course!
- An Open Bark Letter From Everybody's Favorite Corporation
Cash Grubber, Esq., August 26, 2003
The lawyers are coming. The lawyers are coming!
- Those SCOundrels Blame Linux For Blackout, Terrorism, Viruses, Global Warming
James Baughn, August 14, 2003
Somehow it's all Linux's fault.
- Ask Humorix: I Need Money Fast
The Humorix Oracle, August 12, 2003
These billion dollars brought to you by the letters D-M-C-A.
- "Reality TV For Geeks" Canceled Due To Lack Of Interest
James Baughn, July 30, 2003
The real survivors on 'Survivor' are the viewers who can sit through the whole thing without barfing.
- Don't Panic, Killer Computers Will Not Take Over
Jon Splatz, July 7, 2003
This is one area where we can be thankful for Microsoft's monopoly.
- Microsoft Ecstatic About New Geek Enemy
James Baughn, June 30, 2003
Microsoft is no longer the world's most despised company -- and this is one time the company is happy to be Number 2.
- Ethics Scandal Rocks Humorix, Executive Indicted For Insider Trading
James Baughn, June 5, 2003
At least we aren't called Humorix Omnimedia, Inc.
- SCO Sues To Become Relevant
Pete Mawse, May 22, 2003
A brief history lesson of everybody's favorite value-subtracted company.
- Microsoft Finds Perfect Solution To Beat Linux
James Baughn, May 19, 2003
The only way to fight freedom is with oppression.
- Humorix Writer Fired For Writing Real News
James Baughn, May 11, 2003
All the news that's fit to fabricate. And we mean it.
- US Launches "Shock And Awe" Campaign To Rid The World Of Open Source
Ann Oneemuss, April 23, 2003
According to the Feds, if we stop using Windows then we've let the terrorists win.
- Bloated Open Source Projects Receive Surprise Grant Money
Ann Oneemuss, April 22, 2003
Slower software equals faster profits for CPU makers.
- Dotcoms Stay Afloat By Pooling Unsolicited Credit Card Offers
Ann Oneemuss, April 7, 2003
This company makes money the old-fashioned way: they borrow it.
- Geeks Panic After Google Fails To Deliver Any April Fool's Day Gags
Ann Oneemuss, April 1, 2003
Google fails to change logo for April 1st. Film at 11.
- Man Born On April Fools Day Sues To Have Birthday Changed
Ann Oneemuss, April 1, 2003
He's getting sick of the April Fool's Day baby jokes.
- Microsoft Does Not Acquire Linux
James Baughn, March 31, 2003
Redmond fires a pre-emptive strike against April Fool's Day.
- Microsoft Tells The Truth: Windows Makes Hackers Extinct!
Ann Oneemuss, March 28, 2003
Real hackers are already on the endangered list as it is.
- The Latest in Hot W4r3z
Onering Howe, March 25, 2003
Step away from that Linux box and nobody gets life in prison.
- Mobsters Accuse Software Association Of Patent Infringement
Ann Oneemuss, March 1, 2003
They own the patent on extortion -- and they are going to use it to extort money from other businesses
- The Great Windows Sales Tax Refund
Ann Oneemuss, February 27, 2003
The hypocrisy of software licenses cannot last forever.
- Microsoft Poll Reveals Customers Enjoy High Prices, Low Quality, No Privacy
Ann Oneemuss, February 26, 2003
Lies, damned lies, and...
- CompUSSR Bans "Incompatible" Shoes From Stores
Ann Oneemuss, February 19, 2003
Upgrade your shoes to the latest version or face the consequences.
- Massive Security Hole Discovered In The Linux Kernel!
Ann Oneemuss, February 12, 2003
But please, before you start to panic, read the whole article first.
- Filler Material: Lawyers, AOL, Cloning
James Baughn, January 29, 2003
This fake news contains even less quality than usual.
- Linux Distributor Admits Falsifying Bankruptcy To Increase Sympathy Sales
Ann Oneemuss, January 27, 2003
If you're going to 'pull an Enron', this isn't how you do it.
- Judge Holds Microsoft In Contempt Of Court
James Baughn, January 23, 2003
Java(R) is an object-oriented programming language, not a mug-oriented hot beverage.
- God and MPAA Denounce Human Genome Decoding
Jason Simpson, January 22, 2003
(C) The Almighty. All rights reserved.
- Congress Imposes Flat-Rate "Victim Fee" On Music Companies
Ann Oneemuss, January 21, 2003
The RIAA should be careful what is wishes for.
- Nobody Signs Up For Telemarketers' Please-Do-Call List
James Baughn, January 8, 2003
Surprise, surprise: Most people don't care about special offers to shorten their mortgages or lengthen their... you know what.
