- Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Use Facebook
Don't even mention the word Twitter.
- Senator Proposes New Farmville Subsidies
Debt crisis? What debt crisis?
- U.S. Government To Require Permits For Moving Things Around
What are you doing to conserve angular momentum?
- Thousands Of Geeks Working On Time-Travel Machines
Even when covered with lots of scientific buzzwords, jealousy is still jealousy
- Experts: Google Behind Schedule Producing This Year's April Fools Day Gags
The sky isn't falling, but it does seem to be lower to the ground these days.
- Standards Organization Created To Standardize Standards Organizations
We apologize in advance for the high density of meaningless buzzwords contained in this story.
- Federal Government Unveils "Do-Fly" List
Only a pinko-commie would dare question a government program featuring apple pie.
- Google Deploys New Method to Eliminate Content Farms
Content farms are about to have a major crop failure.
- New Startup Aims To Make Twitter Obsolete
Wasting bandwidth, one word at a time.
- "Conficker" Worm Fails To Deliver Linux Payload
Linux World Domination will have to wait.
- Humorix Staff Returns From Lunch Break, Fails To Set World Record
We definitely had all-we-could-eat at the all-you-can-eat lunch buffet.
- Bill Gates is NOT Satan, Says Satan
Hades doesn't like competition.
- 2008: The Year In Preview
Our predictions are still guaranteed not to come true.
- Wikipedia Deletes All But 0.1% Of Articles
Everybody has to do their part to conserve electrons.
- Monkeys Still Unable To Produce Shakespeare -- Or Perl
The old saying about a "million monkeys" is put to the test.
- Keyboard Replacements Up 35% Thanks To SCO
Another problem to blame on SCO: coffee-stained keyboards
- Microsoft Finds Solution For Lackluster Vista Sales
Would you like a copy of Vista with your Rolls Royce?
- California Imposes April Fools' Day Tax
That chuckle will cost you.
- Echelon Scrapped After Finding Too Many Examples Of Government Misconduct
Congress believes fully in privacy rights -- for Congressmen
- Satan: Sell Your Soul To Me, Not Microsoft
Novell sold their souls to Microsoft. Who's next?
- Dateline 2006: World Peace Established!
Okay, so we achieve world peace by 2006. But at what cost?
- Check Your Genes: A Short Guide to Living a Patented Life
Are you harboring any illegal genes?
- Breaking News: GNU/Hurd 1.0 Released!
Gentlemen, start your compilers!
- Pointy Haired Boss Issues Press Releases About His Personal Life
- Rupert Murdoch Unveils Fake News Channel
Reality TV just got a little more real.
- Google, Microsoft Agree To Switch Sides
I, for one, welcome our new evil Google overlords.
- SCO Wins Prestigious Legal Awards
They've set the bar for litigators everywhere.
- Welcome To The World Of Drive-Through Law Offices
The end is near.
- Survey: Evil Geniuses Less Interested In World Domination
The global conquest industry is facing rough times.
- Rendering HTML In Your Head? Bad Idea!
Wetware is tremendously insecure.
- Dateline 2011: Theater Not Responsible For Customer's Head Exploding
The legal system is the best that money can buy.
- Users Outraged At Non-Porn Domain Typos
Family-friendly sites turn evil.
- Senator Seriously Injured After Jumping Off Cliff
Obeying your master was never this painful.
- Baseball Warns Against "Information Piracy" At World Series
MLB: Major Litiguous Bastards
- Study: Moore's Law Does Not Apply To Clues
Run for your lives! The Clue-o-clysm is coming!
- Building Evacuated After SCO Unix Discovered
Do you know what's in your network?
- Greece Demands Reparations For Ancient Intellectual Property Violations
Step away from the Doric column and nobody gets sued.
- Programmer Implements Linux As ActiveX Applet
Finally, a practical application for Microsoft's gaping security holes!
- And Now A Word From Somebody Else's Lawyer
We've really opened a Pandora's Box this time.
- And Now A Word From Our Lawyers
We have little choice but to publish this.
- Aliens Patented Our Universe!
- Google Unveils Filter System For Websites
Finally, a positive application for censorship.
- Study: Linux Exposure Causes Insanity
Anti-Linux organization releases anti-Linux study. Film at 11!
- Google Announces Search Engine Entering Beta
Beta isn't just a Greek letter... it's the entire business plan for Google
- There Is NO Neo-Con Conspiracy
All of the rumors about Microsoft acquiring the Republican Party are not true. Not true!
- SCO Unveils Latest Product Upgrade: IBM Lawsuit 4.0
Now with 54% more hot air!
- Microsoft Announces DRM-Oriented Programming Language
It was only a matter of time (patent pending).
- Apple + Intel = Microsoft Conspiracy Theory
Think Different while using an Intel x86 CPU like everybody else
- Windows vs. Linux: An Unbiased Review
So, Microsoft, where's our bribe?
- Registrygate Coverup Revealed
P.T. Barnum would be proud of this magic act.
- Windows 2003 Really Does Outperform Linux!
...But only in one category.
- Microsoft Signs Strategic Alliance With China
Over one billion people will soon become Microserfs.
- Slashdot Editors Promise To Actually Edit Stories
It's a moral victory for Anonymous Coward.
- Congress Passes Ban On April Fool's Day
If fools are outlawed, then why is Congress still in session?
- Microsoft Issues Warning Against April Fool's Day Jokes
Gates shuts the gates on parody.
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #36,712,380
Given enough Microsoft conspiracy theories, we're bound to get one right.
- Don't Like Talking To Tech Support? Hire An Agent!
And you thought the Internet would eliminate middle-men...
- Microsoft Embraces "Free Software" Movement
For certain definitions of "free" you won't find in a dictionary
- Industry Cracks Down On Illegal "File Sharing"
Step away from that file folder and nobody gets hurt.
- Total Destruction Of Earth Blamed On Spammers
Houston, we have 3,423 new messages.
- Make Money Fast On The Lawsuit Futures Market
I would write a lawyer joke here, but I don't want to get sued.
- President Bush Has "Faith" In Science
Welcome to the brave new world of Faith-Based Research.
- Slashdot Develops Solution To Corporate Firewall Problem
It's about time somebody tackled this problem.
- Microsoft Trumpets Another Vulnerability In Linux
It's a shame this hot air can't be tapped as an energy source.
- Suspicious Fire Destroys Microsoft Building
More proof that Microsoft firewalls are an absolute joke
- Hey Bill, You Got A License For That Reality Distortion Field?
Reality distortion: Yet another Apple invention that Microsoft has embraced
- SCO's Hometown Declares State of Emergency
City braces for flash flood of paperwork
- Congress Sued For Producing Defective Products
It's about time somebody has oversight of Congress' oversight.
- Russia Donates Cyrillic Characters To Alleviate Acronym Shortage
Brace yourself for a YALABH (Yet Another Lame Article By Humorix)
- California Imposes "Birth Tax" To Fight Piracy
You better have a tax permit for that baby.
- DRM Failure Causes Studio To Lose Entire Movie Production
They won't get any sympathy from us.
- Google Introduces "Fake News" Portal
Now you can get your continuously updated flow of sarcasm from a browser near you.
- Mystery Company Hopes To Increase Malware Quality
Malware is loaded with bugs, just like the operating system it infects
- Microsoft: Windows 2003 Outperforms Red Hat
...But only for certain values of "Red Hat"
- Coming Soon To A Fridge Near You: Unix
After all, portability is the number one strength of Unix
- The Year In Preview 2005
Our predictions are guaranteed not to come true.
- The Joy Of Giving... Money To Large Corporations
Christmas shopping gets worse every year.
- If You Think Spyware Is Bad Now, Just Wait
...But only if you're still using Windows, of course.
- Reports Of Humorix's Assimilation Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Resistance is not futile... it's measured in Ohms.
- Humorix Receives Donation From Microsoft
This is not a bribe. Nothing to see here, move along.
- The Hottest New Distribution: LinuXXX
We're still waiting for our complimentary review copy.
- Mobsters Enrolling In Law Schools By The Thousands
The time to panic is rapidly approaching.
- Survey: Windows Users Prefer Crashes Over Exploits
Have you downgraded your operating system lately?
- SCO Drinking Game
Or, everything you need to know before you visit prosco.net
- Linux Makes It Easier To Outsource, Says Microsoft
Most Congresscritters can't tell the difference between open source and outsource
- Plain Text Vulnerability Found In Linux; Microsoft Celebrates
But reports of Linux's demise are greatly exaggerated.
- SCO Still Has Programmers On Its Payroll!
And they are working on a new product! We still can't believe it.
- ISP Offers Slashdot Effect Insurance
You no longer need to fear one of the Internet's greatest furies
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #33,554,432
Your Internet experience is sponsored by Microsoft
- Entrepreneur Trademarks "V1ag7a", Other Frequent Spam Terms
One man hopes to use the court system to enlarge his... bank account
- Update: Perl Script Gains Citizenship
A temporal paradox reveals the fate of the world's first sentient Perl script
- Lawyers To Be Replaced With Perl Scripts
But don't start jumping for joy just yet.
- Warning Labels Applied To vi, emacs
You'll lose all your hair.
- Welcome To SCO, The Home Of "Linus Torvalds"
Just as soon as you thought SCO couldn't possibly become even more pathetic, it happens.
- US Downsizes Court System
Justice will be blinded by money.
- Microsoft Blames DOJ For Internet Explorer Security Holes
Microsoft is the victim just like everybody else.
- Let's Play "Name That Code!"
Brought to you by The SCO Group
- Windows Reinstallations In About An Hour
Because reinstalling Windows periodically is just as important as automobile oil changes
- ISPs Start Blocking Port 80
Almost all of the Internet's evil spews from Port 80.
- Get Ready For Transparent Network Transparency
The next generation of X has arrived, and it looks too much like Microsoft Windows.
- Linux Ported To Kitchen Sinks
Linux world domination reaches a new frontier.
- The Horrible, Terrible Tinfoil Hat Conspiracy
If you're a crackpot wearing a tinfoil hat, you better sit down for this.
- GNU Project Responds To Patently Absurd Laws
If you value software freedom, you better have a back-up plan to move to Ethopia or North Korea.
- Microsoft Unveils "Perfect" Anti-Spam System
As usual, the Microsoft "cure" is worse than the disease.
- New Bug-Infested Distro Eases Transition From Windows To Linux
The goal is to prevent new users from becoming disoriented.
- Unisys sues Forgent over patent infringement
It's a shame both companies can't lose.
- Humorix Obtains Patent On April Fool's Day Hoaxes
You better have a license for that laughter.
- Tuxissa Victims Sued By You-Know-Who
Has your machine been upgraded to Linux without your permission? Prepare to be sued!
- Why You Should Choose Microsoft Word Over vi
There's enough FUD here to provide fertilizer for an entire farm.
- Kernel Developer Accused Of Using Pirated Version Of Linux
Pirate your own software, go to jail.
- Feds Unveil Practical Method To Combat Spam
Spam is a weapon of mass distraction.
- Dateline 2007: Humorix Becomes Second Largest Media Company
Don't laugh, this could actually happen.
- Bill Bless You
Nobody expects the Redmond Inquisition.
- Prepare To Be Jashcrofted
If you thought airline restrictions were tough, just wait...
- Microsoft Patents Zero-Click Security System
Microsoft kills two birds with one anti-competitive stone.
- TV Network Gives Out Free PVRs! (* Some Strings Attached)
Now you can skip lame filler material quickly and easily.
- Massive Trademark Dilution Strikes SCO
SCO is now in the dictionary.
- 2004: The Year In Preview
Between the SCO debacle and the growth of DRM schemes, 2004 promises to be a very good year -- for lawyers.
- US Population Expected To Grow Rapidly
Spamming is a high-growth industry.
- Infrequently Asked Questions About The SCO Fiasco
You've got questions? SCO's got lawsuits.
- US Endorses New French-Free Measurement System
Can you say 'Library of Congress'?
- Humor Writers Protest In Front Of SCO World Headquarters
Humorists just can't compete with SCO.
- The Image Manipulation Program Formerly Known As The GIMP
Brace yourself -- we're being invaded by marketing consultants.
- The Don't-Pay-For-Placement Search Engine
Finally, a search engine that isn't a dotcom.
- Spam Increases Productivity (According To Spammers)
Won't somebody please think of the children of spammers?
- It's Not A Bug, It's A Patented Feature
One man has been granted The Mother Of All Patents.
- Making Europe Unsafe For Lawyers
Can Europe survive without lawyers? Well, of course!
- An Open Bark Letter From Everybody's Favorite Corporation
The lawyers are coming. The lawyers are coming!
- Those SCOundrels Blame Linux For Blackout, Terrorism, Viruses, Global Warming
Somehow it's all Linux's fault.
- Ask Humorix: I Need Money Fast
These billion dollars brought to you by the letters D-M-C-A.
- "Reality TV For Geeks" Canceled Due To Lack Of Interest
The real survivors on 'Survivor' are the viewers who can sit through the whole thing without barfing.
- Don't Panic, Killer Computers Will Not Take Over
This is one area where we can be thankful for Microsoft's monopoly.
- Microsoft Ecstatic About New Geek Enemy
Microsoft is no longer the world's most despised company -- and this is one time the company is happy to be Number 2.
- Ethics Scandal Rocks Humorix, Executive Indicted For Insider Trading
At least we aren't called Humorix Omnimedia, Inc.
- SCO Sues To Become Relevant
A brief history lesson of everybody's favorite value-subtracted company.
- Microsoft Finds Perfect Solution To Beat Linux
The only way to fight freedom is with oppression.
- Humorix Writer Fired For Writing Real News
All the news that's fit to fabricate. And we mean it.
- US Launches "Shock And Awe" Campaign To Rid The World Of Open Source
According to the Feds, if we stop using Windows then we've let the terrorists win.
- Bloated Open Source Projects Receive Surprise Grant Money
Slower software equals faster profits for CPU makers.
- Dotcoms Stay Afloat By Pooling Unsolicited Credit Card Offers
This company makes money the old-fashioned way: they borrow it.
- Man Born On April Fools Day Sues To Have Birthday Changed
He's getting sick of the April Fool's Day baby jokes.
- Geeks Panic After Google Fails To Deliver Any April Fool's Day Gags
Google fails to change logo for April 1st. Film at 11.
- Microsoft Does Not Acquire Linux
Redmond fires a pre-emptive strike against April Fool's Day.
- Microsoft Tells The Truth: Windows Makes Hackers Extinct!
Real hackers are already on the endangered list as it is.
- The Latest in Hot W4r3z
Step away from that Linux box and nobody gets life in prison.
- Mobsters Accuse Software Association Of Patent Infringement
They own the patent on extortion -- and they are going to use it to extort money from other businesses
- The Great Windows Sales Tax Refund
The hypocrisy of software licenses cannot last forever.
- Microsoft Poll Reveals Customers Enjoy High Prices, Low Quality, No Privacy
Lies, damned lies, and...
- CompUSSR Bans "Incompatible" Shoes From Stores
Upgrade your shoes to the latest version or face the consequences.
- Massive Security Hole Discovered In The Linux Kernel!
But please, before you start to panic, read the whole article first.
- Filler Material: Lawyers, AOL, Cloning
This fake news contains even less quality than usual.
- Linux Distributor Admits Falsifying Bankruptcy To Increase Sympathy Sales
If you're going to 'pull an Enron', this isn't how you do it.
- Judge Holds Microsoft In Contempt Of Court
Java® is an object-oriented programming language, not a mug-oriented hot beverage.
- God and MPAA Denounce Human Genome Decoding
(C) The Almighty. All rights reserved.
- Congress Imposes Flat-Rate "Victim Fee" On Music Companies
The RIAA should be careful what is wishes for.
- Nobody Signs Up For Telemarketers' Please-Do-Call List
Surprise, surprise: Most people don't care about special offers to shorten their mortgages or lengthen their... you know what.
- Hollywood Cracks Down On "Music Leaks"
Whatcha gonna do when the music police come for you?
- Finally, A Solution To The Lawyer Problem
One whiff, and lawyers will run away as fast as they can.
- Got An Extra Wall To Spare?
What Emacs is to text editing, this new product is to home entertainment.
- Microsoft Demands "Screen Shot Royalties" From TV Stations
Each Start Menu icon is hand-crafted and represents a valuable intellectual property resource.
- The New Mantra Of Tech Support: Tell It Like It Is
The customer is always right there demanding answers.
- This Is A "Code Taco" Slashdot Effect Emergency!
We've been hit! Panic!
- The Haunted Server Room
Halloween just got a whole lot more scarier.
- Red Hat To Pay Stipends To Universities... To Promote Windows
Linux advocates want college students to be exposed to Windows.
- Microsoft: Would You Like Fries With That?
If you want a filesystem with that operating system, it will cost you extra.
- Red Hat Nullifies Differences Between bash, csh
Red Hat starts to act like Redmond Hat.
- Step Away From That TV And Nobody Gets Brainwashed
Put that remote down, step outside, and run as fast as you can to a place free from the outstretched tentacles of Hollywood.
- Open Source Developers Threaten To Strike
The flame war continues.
- Geeks Desperate For A Microsoft Accounting Scandal
WorldCom, Enron, Adelphia... so where's Microsoft?
- Crashback: Citations, Copyrights, Crashes
We should go into the Linux real news business.
- HP Drops Dell, Picks Up Dellbert's
How will the Dell Dweeb Dude get out of this situation?
- New Linux Software Detects Viruses, Windows
Sick of your employees smuggling in Windows boxes to your Microsoft-free workplace? Strike back!
- GNU Project Unveils Patent-Free GNU/DIST Image Format
Say goodbye to .jpg and hello to .gnudist.gz
- Making The Internet Safe For Users, Unsafe For Microsoft
Even the dregs of society have their principles.
- Weblog Changes Results Of An Election!
It's truly a momentus event in the history of the Internet.
- Court Rules Against "Deep Citations"
Say goodbye to page numbers.
- Guest Editorial: Quit Stealing My Identity!
Won't somebody please think of all the people with extremely common names?
- Internet Paralyzed By Surge Of Microsoft Word Documents
College students will do anything for work -- even using Microsoft products.
- China Cracks Down On Naughty Websites
Getting the latest Linux USB news just got tougher in China.
- Slashdot To Include Warning Labels
Bad News For Nerds. Stuff that Makes You Croak.
- Guest Editorial: Big Brother Is Blind
If companies know so much about our personal lives, how come they still keep advertising stuff we don't care about?
- Severe Acronym Shortage Cripples Computer Industry
This could be the end of open source software (OSS) as we know it.
- Solving The Virus Problem Once And For All
Forget about technical solutions... the real answer lies in psychology.
- Mass Exodus From Hollywood
Won't somebody please think of the children of starving musicians, directors, and make-up artists?
- Insurance Company To Offer Microsoft Audit Protection Plans
What's the biggest disaster facing your company? A Microsoft audit!
- Deutsche Bahn Receives Special Delivery From Google
The railroad company just got railroaded.
- Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory Of Everything
We've achieved the holy grail of conspiriology research.
- Red Hat's Anti-Windows Website Runs On Windows
If it works for Microsoft...
- From Domain Names To Domain Nations
Forget Microsoft, another monopoly has entered the scene.
- April Fool's Day Conspiracy
Beware what you read on April 1st -- it might be true!
- Humorix Hopes To Get Rich Quick Before "Dot Org" Bubble Bursts
We're changing our business plan for the 53rd time this week.
- Microsoft Plan To Kill Off Linux Fails
Microsoft tried to achieve Word® domination, but failed.
- Microsoft Runs Out Of Ideas
There's nothing left to embrace, extend, and smother.
- Microsoft Acquisition Of Humorix Thwarted By Anti-Trust Laws
Sherman and Clayton save the day.
- Microsoft Attempts To Acquire Microsoft
One middle finger of Microsoft doesn't know where the other is.
- Librarians Change Stance, Support SSSCA
Another argument against those those long-haired hippie Linux terrorists.
- Free Software Foundation Forks Linux
Get ready for RMS to yell 'It's 'GIL', dammit!' at every occasion.
- Microsoft Advances "Doomsday Watch" To Seven Minutes Before Midnight
Now that Humorix has been acquired by Microsoft, we're forced to run these pro-Microsoft FUD pieces. We apologize in advance.
- Angry Stockholder Begins Proxy Fight Over Microsoft Acquisition
Microsoft's embracing and extending of Humorix continues.
- All Hail .Con!
Microsoft's latest innovation will usher in world peace and a cure for cancer. And that's not all!
- Microsoft Acquires Humorix
We have been embraced and extended.
- Humorix Declares Bankruptcy; Congress Does Not Launch Inquiry
We make Enron's 'accounting irregularities' look tame.
- Book Publishers Unveil Anti-Copying Devices
Beg, borrow, or steal that book... and go to jail.
- Microsoft Employees Go On Strike, Demand Reduced Salaries
Some employees want respect, not stock options.
- Microsoft Creates New Spoken Language For Tech Support
Users must now undergo formal training before contacting Microsoft tech support.
- 2002: Year In Preview
We've seen the future and it's copyrighted.
- Ask Humorix: How Do I Dispose Of This Trash?
What are you supposed to do when someone gives you a game that only runs on Windows?
- Microsoft Signs Exclusive Marketing Deal With Santa Claus
Don't count on St. Nick to deliver any Linux CDs this year.
- Review: Lord of the Pings
One Ping to rule them all and in the ether bind(2) them.
- Last Minute Gift Idea: The "Radvo"
Need a last-minute Christmas gift?
- Microsoft Discloses Huge Security Hole
But we're not talking about Windows XP.
- Linus Torvalds Files Suit Against Lindows
Lindows had better change its name quick.
- Humorix Unveils New Form Of Intrusive, Annoying Advertising
Everybody else is doing it.
- Do You Want Linux With That?
The Company Formerly Known As VA Linux desperately searches for a way to make money.
- Linux Kernel 2.6 Preview
Humorix takes a look at all of the new features that will make you want to upgrade your kernel yet again.
- Let's Sue Red Hat!
If it works for Microsoft, it can work for Linux.
- ICANN Announces Unlimited TLDs For Private Use
The shortage of Top Level Domains is over -- well, sort of.
- Yet Another Horrible, Terrible Global Conspiracy
Microsoft isn't the only organization engaged in a terrible conspiracy.
- DOJ Unveils "Three Strikes And You're Still In" Policy
The Feds implement a 'get-lax' policy towards certain crimes involving anti-competitive business practices
- How To Make Your Own Version Of SuSE
It's not nearly as difficult as you think.
- Say Goodbye To Speling Erors On Slashdot Once And For All
The Grammar Nazis can go home now.
- Bill Gates Receives Slap On Wrist; Carpal Tunnel Flares Up
Bill Gates should be careful what he wishes for.
- We Don't Want To eXPerience Windows Again
We came, we saw, we installed Windows, we puked.
- Microsoft Promotes Xbox But Not Microsoft
Nobody at Microsoft wants to associate the Xbox with Microsoft.
- Humorixia Offers Free Citizenship To The First 50,000 US Refugees
In the wake of the terrorist attacks, the US is quickly succumbing to the 'Childrenclysm'. We must put a stop to this!
- 8GB Ought To Be Enough For Anybody
Microsoft has achieved the impossible -- fitting Windows into only 8 gigabytes.
- Here Comes The MCSE-ocracy!
Don't let Microserfs take over the Internet.
- Ask Humorix: What's It Like To Work On Linux Full-Time?
The secret lives of Linux hackers is finally revealed.
- Sircam Virus Fights Terrorism! (Says Microsoft)
The level of spin produced by the Microsoft Marketing Department is enought to create its own gravity.
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #16,777,216
The End User License Agreement is Bill Gates' ticket to world domination.
- Microsoft To Bundle Free Computers With Windows XP
Death of Linux predicted yet again. Film at 11.
- Federal Agents Help Society (Really!)
Privacy is good. Privacy for spammers is bad.
- Slashdot Effect Prevention Kit Saves The Day
Phew! That was a close one.
- Take Your Proprietary File Format And Shove It!
Microsoft Word should not be a job requirement.
- Lawyers Help Society (Really!)
Lawyers team up to fight oppressive license agreements.
- Crashback: Truth, Stranger, Fiction
Life imitates Humorix. But that doesn't mean Humorix is art.
- Finally, A Solution To The DMCA!
Forget about free speech arguments... let's focus on freedom of religion!
- Open Source Projects Sell Naming Rights
There's money in them thar ASCII characters.
- Update: Windows XP Is Good For The Economy
So maybe Microsoft has some redeeming social value after all. Or maybe not.
- Ted Turner Unveils All-Commercial Channel
It's just like the Web, only worse.
- Fighting Fire With Fire
If Linux is a 'cancer', then Windows must be 'Mad Cow Disease'.
- Congress Copyrights Copyright Law
It's no longer safe to hide behind the Bill of Rights.
- The Blue Screen Of Advocacy
There's no better advertisement for Linux than a BSOD.
- Death Of The Economy Predicted. Bluescreen At 11.
Blame it all on Windows XP.
- Linux Distro To Include Pre-Installed Security Holes
When in Redmond...
- As Easy As /usr/src/linux
Forget about memorizing PI, the real fad is memorizing Linux.
- Ask Humorix: What's The Solution To Network Solutions?
Why do we even need domain names in the first place?
- Ask Humorix: I Need A Job!
Thousand of companies need competent system administrators. Discover a sure-fire way to locate them.
- Ad Blocking Software Violates DMCA
Step away from the proxy software and nobody gets hurt.
- Microsoft Appeals to Supreme Court, Plans Insanity Defense
This simply confirms what we've known all along.
- ESR Files Libel Lawsuit Against California Court
The latest twist in the DeCSS court battle occurs when ESR files a meta-lawsuit.
- If It's Not Broke, Redesign It
After three years, it's time for an unnecessary site redesign.
- Attack Of The "Omnivore" Virus
Microsoft has some serious competition in the quest for world domination.
- Hacker Arrested For Defacing His Own Website
The Feds have a zero tolerance policy towards hacking and copying.
- Vast Spy Network Captured... While Spying On Itself!
Who needs double agents when you have triple agents? Or quadruple agents?
- Crashback: Lawyers, Idiots, Redundancies
It's so easy to get false and true confused.
- Counterfeit Linus Torvalds Autographs Hit eBay
Linus Torvalds' autograph can be copied just as easily as the Linux source code.
- Music Industry Discovers Perfect Anti-Piracy Scheme
Beware of greedy executives bearing new acronyms.
- Australia To Ban Windows?
If Windows is outlawed, only criminals will have Solitaire.
- Here's Your Bill, Bill
Who needs venture capital when you can just sue big evil corporations for money?
- Linux Boxes As Far As The Eye Can See
We don't need no stinkin' Microsoft licenses!
- Running Linux Backwards Reveals The Shocking Truth
Can you handle the truth?
- Class-Action Lawsuit Filed Against Linus Torvalds
Could you get fired for letting your boss choose Linux?
- Lawyerclysm? Hah!
Lawyers aren't taking over the world. Corporations are.
- Microsoft Releases First Open Source Application
That headline is not a typo.
- Some Old Fogie Speaks Out Against Linux
Back in the Good Ole Days...
- Bill Gates Sends Out Desperate Plea For Help
Microsoft needs your financial support.
- The Cathedral, the Bazaar and the Pyramid
Sorry, ESR, but the Cathedral model just doesn't cut it.
- Microsoft Drops Shrinkwrap License "Can't Sue Us" Clause
A fool and his money are soon using Windows.
- Little Billy Smith Sues Kelloggs Breakfast Foods Under DMCA
Will the US slap export restrictions for boxes of Frosted Flakes?
- Cease and Desist Letter From A Parallel Universe
You can run, you can even travel to an alternate dimension, but you can't hide from lawyers.
- Carnivore Threatens Carrier Pigeon Internet Protocol
Next time you develop a new communications protocol, please don't tell the FBI about it.
- Windows XP Eliminates Blue Screen Of Death!
The latest builds of WinXP feature the latest Microsoft innovations in crash technology.
- Microsoft Cancels "Snitch" Program
It was a tad more successful than Bill Gates bargained for.
- DeCSS Really Is Terrorware!
DeCSS is almost as dangerous as Windows.
- Windows XP Guided Tour
Windows XP: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
- Blartner Group Warns Of Destructive Virus
Well, the virus is "destructive" according to Blartner.
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #578,361
Is Microsoft in cahoots with the US military?
- Perl + Python + Parrot + C + ... + Java = Polymorph
It's the mother of all mothers of all programming languages.
- Danish Linux Party: Coming To A Parliament Near You
Linux: From software movement to political party.
- Does Linux Violate The Microsoft EULA?
So now Microsoft is the good guy? Yeah, right.
- April Fool's Day Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest
Is everybody waiting until April 2nd this year?
- Panic! We Have Nothing Planned For April Fool's Day!
This is one of the worst calamities that a humor publication can face.
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theory #5,734
Another millisecond, another Microsoft conspiracy.
- Step Away From The Perl Script And Nobody Gets Hurt
One group is advocating mandatory safety training for Perl hackers.
- "Oops," Says MPAA President
What goes around comes around, including ill-conceived copyright laws.
- Decrypting DVDs Okay, Talking About Decrypting DVDs Not Okay
The US legal system has coredumped.
- Crashback: Better, Business, Bureau
It's time again to issue a correction for a Humorix story that turned out to be true.
- Some Good News From Redmond
...Or, rather, from what's left of it.
- Hey, Is That Unread Email From 1998?
A collection of "Swifties" (not Quickies) that we have received lately.
- Death And Microsoft Taxes
Your pocketbook is Microsoft's .NET domain.
- Microsoft Ports Wine To Windows
What happens when an emulator runs on the platform it's supposed to emulate?
- BSD And Microsoft On The Same Side?
The GPL vs. BSD flame war heats up as Microsoft gets involved.
- Have You Downgraded Your Browser Today?
If we ignore all of the crap on the Web, maybe it will go away.
- Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank You, Jim Allchin!
Opportunies for humor publications will increase ten-fold in the wake of Microsoft's new FUD campaign.
- If You're Reading This, Prepare To Get Sued
Your browser is a copyright circumvention tool.
- Operation Killer Penguin
The Revolution will be fought on the command line.
- Linux Increases Brain Power
Windows is bad for your mental health. But why state the obvious?
- New Linux for Corporations
You have to fight fire with fire.
- Microsoft Acquires Open Source (Again)
Microsoft's War Against Linux continues at full tilt.
- Geek Temptation Island
Who cares about the Super Bowl?
- Microsoft Website Crashes, World Does Not Come To An End
Can the world survive without Microsoft? Yes, of course!
- Hot Grits & First Patches: Coming Soon To A Kernel Near You
Meta-moderation isn't just for Slashdot anymore.
- Where Do All Those Stupid Names Come From?
From "Agilent" to "Zelerate", we know the source of the world's asinine trademarks.
- Microsoft Fights Linux -- By Contributing Kernel Patches
Redmond has launched a denial of service attack against Linus Torvalds.
- The Socioeconomic Group Formerly Known As "Geeks"
If Bill Gates is considered a "Classic Geek", what about the rest of us?
- No, Virginia, There Isn't A Linus Torvalds
Microsoft has launched an innovative new PR campaign against Linux.
- Humorix Holiday Gift Guide 2000
Looking for great gift ideas? You've come to the wrong place.
- It's Not A Bug, It's A Lawsuit!
Forget about debuggers, Microsoft plans to hire more lawyers.
- The Internet Collapses! No Film At 11.
Meta-meta-meta-spam floods the Net, causing everything to crash.
- Descent Into The Lawyerclysm
In the aftermath of the US Election From Hell, we've descended into the dreaded Lawyerclysm.
- Microsoft Lawyers Invade Palm Beach, Florida
Is that voting machine running unlicensed Microsoft software? Send in the lawyers!
- Did Al Gore Pass The Turing Test? The Results Are Still Coming In...
There's much more at stake here than the Presidency.
- "First Post!" Wins Presidential Election in Massive Write-In Campaign
The dreaded Slashdot Effect strikes again...
- People for the Ethical Treatment of Computers
Put an end to computer abuse: stop using Windows.
- Microsoft Acquires XBill
But don't panic, there's a perfectly good explanation.
- Humorix Strike: Day 7
Humorix continues to plod along even with the strike.
- Humorix Employees Go On Strike!
The hard-working employees (how's that for an oxymoron?) at Humorix are now picketing.
- Crashback: Karma, Portals, Licenses
We apologize for any fake news articles we published that later turned out to be true.
- Unobfuscated Perl Code Contest
Is it possible to write readable Perl code?
- Throwing Windows Out The Window
From Windows to abucusses: a definite step in the right direction.
- Clippit Charged With Attempted Murder
The Dancing Paper Clip goes on a violent rampage.
- Lawyer-B-Gone 1.0 Released
Putting a stop to attorneys... one Perl command at a time.
- The Linux House 1.01
Traditional ranch-style and split-level homes just don't meet the needs of Linux hackers.
- Please Bow For The "King Of The Internet"
Sony hopes to control the horizontal, the vertical... and everything else.
- The Next Big Thing: "Clairvoyant Consultants"
Forget tech support... you should call a psychic when you have a computer problem.
- Message From The Future: The MCAA Sucks!
We've made contact with the future.
- "Brown Orifice" Is Only The Beginning
Some security exploits may actually be used for good, not evil.
- Humorix Intercepts GNUist Memo
If Bill Gates thinks that Linux is "communistic" -- well, he ain't seen nothing yet.
- Microsoft Acquires Open Source
Could all GPLed software legally fall into the hands of you-know-who?
- DeCSS T-Shirt Used To Commit Piracy!
The MPAA will have a field day with this one.
- World Domination, One CPU Cycle At A Time
You can donate CPU cycles to the largest Linux advocacy project ever.
- Achieve Fame And Fortune -- Hire A Script Kiddie!
Some people will do anything for publicity.
- Two Years Of Humorix
Humorix has been around for two years, longer than most dotcoms combined.
- Corporate Surveillance HOWTO
Your customers could damage your carefully crafted PR campaign at any time. Learn how to stop them through surveillance and re-education.
- The Geek Independence War (Part 1)
Jon Splatz retells the epic history of Humorixia, that Pacific island paradise built for geeks by geeks.
- An Epidemic Of Honor System Viruses
Linux isn't entirely immune to the spread of viruses.
- "Freedom to Innovate Network" Raided By The Feds
Microsoft is a convicted felon now and is being treated as such.
- Last Independent Linux Site Sold To Commercial Interests
VA Linux strikes again.
- Last TLD Sold To Commercial Interests
When it comes to domain names, everybody is out for a quick buck.
- The Operating System Holy War Erupts Again
We would say this is a "fight to the Finnish", but that's become a cliche.
- Linux Conspirators Build Vast Orbital Internet Array
Now the Conspiracy offers broadband wireless Internet.
- This Fake News Article Is Sponsored By...
Life is not a stage, it's a giant advertisement.
- Microsoft's Anti-Piracy Policy Promotes Piracy
Another innovative Microsoft feature that doesn't work as advertised.
- Ask Humorix: So You Want To Start Your Own Linux User Group
The Humorix Oracles outlines a plan to reap the benefits of founding a LUG.
- Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children?
Most geeks want to see Microsoft's monopoly come to an end. But not everybody.
- Computer Survives The Blue Screen Of Death!
Chaos reigns in the computer industry after a way to bypass the BSOD is discovered.
- Brief History Of Linux (Part 4)
A person who ignores history is doomed to repeatedly lose on game shows.
- Elite Nerds Create Linux Distro From Hell
If you thought Linux was user-hostile now, you haven't seen nothing yet.
- Security Holes Found In Microsoft Easter Eggs
Those Windows are lot a more open than you thought.
- MP3's Are Ripping Band Off -- Says High-Priced Lawyer
Would somebody please think of the children of starving musicians?
- The Mother Of All Lawsuits Filed Against Network Solutions
Find a solution to this one, Network Solutions.
- It's All A Conspiracy
Forget Roswell, Redmond is where the cover-ups are at.
- Microsoft Split in Two!
Instead of waiting for the courts to decide, GNUist revolutionaries took matters into their own hands.
- Email Virus Meets American Lottery Craziness
You might already be a suspect!
- Cartoonix: Dave Finton, Some Drawing Paper, And A Scanner
Dave Finton takes a stab at the fine art of drawing cartoons.
- The Horrible, Terrible Email Virus Conspiracy!
Several conspiracy theorists theorize who is really behind the spread of email viruses.
- Responses To Proposed Microsoft Breakup
Everyone has an opinion about The Great Divorce planned for Microsoft.
- A Message From The CEO Of The Poster, Inc.
Beware what you post on Slashdot.
- Weenie Wars Erupt In Silicon Valley!
Netscape engineers don't take Microsoft hidden messages lying down.
- Will Silicon Valley Become A Ghost Town?
Several companies are reverting back into a pre-computer state... and for good reason.
- Update: Microsoft To Build Orbital Post
Bill Gates is suffering from a classic case of trying to keep up with the Maldas.
- Corporate Tycoons Want You To Make A GESTURE
According to the GESTURE Campaign, bringing ethics into the boardroom is like bringing a gun to school.
- Microsoft X-Box: A First Look
We've acquired a prototype of Microsoft's newest monopoly-building product.
- Rob Malda Buys Mir Space Station
Most dotcom millionaires buy a luxury car or a yacht. Not Rob Malda.
- Cartoonix: Microsoft Anti-Trust Remedy 1.0
So what are we to do with Microsoft now?
- Update: Concerning the Revolution
There is no conspiracy. Trust us.
- Union of Penguinitic GNUist Republics Established!
The Revolution will be fought on the comamnd line! Oh, wait, it's already happened.
- A Sincere Apology From The Staff Of Humorix
Please don't get upset about yesterday's lack of April Fool's jokes.
- Microsoft Concealed Feature May Damage Windows PCs On April 6th
Microsoft: "If you can't beat 'em, destroy 'em."
- Angry Mob Attacks Geek Compound
Nerds can be quite unpredictable when they don't get their daily Slashdot fix.
- Beware Of Red Hat's April Fool's Day Joke
Red Hat comes with a feature that nobody wants: a DOS prompt.
- On Topic Usenet Newsgroup
The world is stunned: an on-topic Usenet newsgroup is being created.
- Beowulf Cluster Runs for President!
This Presidential candidate can do everything except have affairs with interns.
- Microsoft Cockroach Squisher: The First Steps Toward WWIII?
Coming soon to a battleship near you: Microsoft DirectSquish(tm) technology.
- Affordable Virtual Beowulf Cluster
New software lets you run a Beowulf cluster... without the Beowulf cluster.
- Cartoonix: Anatomy of a Ziff-Davis Pundit
After watching other sites become fabulously successful from publishing online comics, we've decided to hop the bandwagon.
- Greed Inc. Acquires Microsoft
You mean there's a company worse than Microsoft? Oh my!
- Brief History of Linux (Part 3)
Our Linux History series finally talks about Linux History.
- Real Proof Of Bill Gates' Satan-ness
It has nothing to do with 666 or ASCII.
- Man Charged With Crashing Windows
Another battle in the government's ongoing "War On Crashes".
- Teen Arrested For Defacing Computer Store
One teen takes Linux Advocacy a little too far.
- Microsoft Releases Office 2005 Poll Results
What new bloated feature do you want today?
- Quickies Straight From Dave's Twisted Mind
Dave declares war on meta-humor.
- Redmond Roundup
Y2K wasn't the end of the world... and neither was the release of Win2K.
- The Linux Forecaster
Is it possible to predict trends in the Linux world? One former weatherman thinks so.
- Brief History Of Linux (Part 2)
Our journey through the history of Linux continues.
- That Could Have Been Me!
Rob Malda is rolling in the dough... so why aren't you?
- Scientists Discover Network-Based Lifeforms
Phone static? That's the sound of the elusive Network Buffalo.
- The First Annual Nerdbowl
Forget about football... the real sports action is in Silicon Valley.
- Corporate Media Conglomerate HOWTO
How to stop those evil Linux longhairs in their tracks with only five easy steps.
- New Linux Companies Hope To Get Rich Quick
Everybody is trying to make money from Linux these day.
- Linux World Domination: Not A Joke!
Oh boy, yet another conspiracy theory... Some people need to stop taking the X-Files seriously.
- Brief History Of Linux (Part 1)
Humorix travels back to ancient times to discover the origins of Linux.
- Alan Cox Releases Quantum Kernel
Alan Cox creates a paradox by releasing a stable and a development kernel at the same time.
- Is Linux A Finnish Conspiracy?
One Senator claims that Finnish software is a threat to national security.
- Microsoft Warns Of Y2.001K Problem
Forget Y2K, it's now time to horde supplies before Y2.001K hits!
- Dave Finton, Disappointed by Y2K Non-Event, Attempts to Conquer Wisconsin Anyways
When plotting world domination, don't let a setback like the continuance of civilization slow you down.
- Welcome to 19100!
Apparently everybody is Y19.1K-compliant because the world didn't come to an end.
- What Did Santa Claus Bring You?
And you thought you got crappy gifts...
- The Truth About Microsoft Linux
Microsoft's document on how to remove Linux reveals some details about the upcoming Microsoft Linux OS.
- The Latest Get-Rich-Quick Scheme: Bashing Linux
You too can write a controversial anti-Linux diatribe and rake in the money from advertising revenue.
- Jargon Coiner 2.0
Even more words, phrases, and acronyms to add to your already overloaded vocabulary.
- Humorixia Nation Founded
The geek paradise founded by Jon Splatz is now an officially recognized country.
- Microsoft Acquires Red Hat
Bill Gates goes on a shopping spree.
- Kernel Hackers: Detectives For A Day
Linus Torvalds and others investigate the cause of a bizarre computer death.
- Evolution Of A Linux User
Scientists have discovered what we already know: Less evolved people prefer Windows.
- Microsoft's Do-It-Yourself Power Plant
Microsoft attempts to monopolize the electricity market.
- Linux And China, A Clarification
Instead of Stallman M. Richard, it's Raymond S. Eric that's on the fringe this time.
- Ask Humorix: Segmentation Faults?
If you dual-boot between Windows and Linux, a black hole might form.
- Transmeta's Secret Revealed!
Transmeta's new chips are not made of silicon, but of fool's gold.
- Judge Jackson Reverses Himself
Microsoft is not a monopoly now, says a reborn Thomas Jackson.
- What About Bill?
Don your asbestos suit... everybody has an opinion about the Microsoft trial.
- Windows 98 More Secure Than Linux!
Microsoft's marketers and lawyers apply their own spin.
- Welcome to Humorixia
Jon Splatz will not shut up about lawyers!
- Microsoft's Halloween 6.66 Document
You will be assimilated... but not necessarily by Microsoft.
- Book Review: Guide To Defending Against Lawsuits
Don't want to get sued? Establish your own independent nation.
- Windows 2000 Rumors
Are you ready for Win2K?
- Microsoft Acquires Transmeta
Microsoft is going after Transmeta's most valued employee.
- Linux Ported To "Stone-Age Flint Chips"
Be careful when using similes. They might come true.
- Update: Microsoft 'ActiveBill' Runs Linux
We apologize for thinking that Microsoft actually innovated something.
- A Wild Google Chase: Search@Home
Life is like a Google search. You never know what you're going to get.
- Bill Gates Passes Turing Test
Gates doesn't do interviews in corporeal form anymore.
- Humorix Announces Faux Dot Com Service
Humorix attempts to jump in on an emerging market: regurgitating press releases.
- Microsoft Spawns "Hacker-Friendly" Company
We've all comtemplated Windows For Linux... but what about Linux For Windows?
- The Great Windows Treasure Hunt
Have treasure map, will hunt treasure.
- Short History Of The 21st Century Lawyerclysm
Jon Splatz makes predictions about the future lawyerization of the US.
- Interview: Tux Penguin
Microsoft bashing is Tux's favorite pasttime, other than munching on herring.
- Microsoft Unveils New Measurement System
If you thought dealing with two systems was bad, wait until Microsoft unveils another measurement system.
- The Coming Lawyerclysm
We need to stop the lawyerization of America.
- What Do Al Gore And Linus Torvalds Have In Common?
They're both running for President. Oh, no, wait, that's not it...
- Ask Humorix: Do-It-Yourself IPO
Start your own fly-by-night Linux company and get rich quick.
- Programmer's Points: "Running With Pointers Considered Harmful..."
Mr. Pluspluss reminds us to be careful with that pointer.
- Office 2005 To Be Available Before Office 2003
Microsoft's vaporware strategy is getting a wee bit out of hand.
- Update: The Legal Battle Continues
The legal battle against Microsoft continues, much to the delight of our lawyer (but not to us).
- Let's Crack That Box
Linux and Windows NT boxes go head to head. Can you guess the winner?
- Update: We'll See You In Court
Microsoft is not too happy about some of Humorix's patent claims.
- Linux Ported To Zangelding
Another day, another Linux port.
- The Great Portal War
Andover.Net's IPO has stirred some resistance.
- *Patents Pending
Everybody is snatching up software patents. And so is Humorix.
- Turn Karma Into Cash
Some people buy and sell baseball cards. Dotheads buy and sell Slashdot user accounts.
- We Need A Geek Telethon
Jon Splatz has an idea to help fight geek oppression and advocate Linux.
- Treaty of Helsinki Signed
The holy war between Linux and FreeBSD is over... for now.
- Top Ten Features Linux Will Need To Compete With W2K
You have to fight Microsoft tactics with Microsoft tactics.
- New Image Format: GNU/GNU
For those that find software patents patently offensive, RMS offers hope.
- Linux Advocate Of The Year
It takes a special breed of Linux zealot to win this award.
- Is Linux Good For Your Health?
Two research firms argue about the health benefits of operating systems.
- How Did You Spend Your Red Hat Windfall?
Spending binges are hitting those who got lucky in the IPO.
- Unix is a Myth in Kansas
Evolution may not be required learning in Kansas, but Microsoft is.
- How NOT To Advertise Linux Products
Issuing Linux press releases obviously created with Microsoft Word is not a good idea.
- Barry Acquires All Red Hat Shares
Due to an email mixup, Barry from Arizona owns all of Red Hat's stock.
- Microsoft Windows for Linux Released
It's official. Microsoft is embracing and smothering Linux.
- I Want My Beowulf Cluster!
A promotion by Andover.Net backfires.
- Instant Messenger War
The Microsoft vs. AOL Instant Messenger dispute turns ugly.
- Humorix Stock Collapses
It was fun while it lasted, but now Humorix's stock is in the toilet.
- Humorix IPO Wildly Successful!
Humorix's newly issued stock enters the stratosphere.
- The Slashdot Conspiracy!
CmdrTaco is nothing more than a Perl script operated by Lucasfilms.
- Humorix IPO Delayed
The Securities and Exchange Commission rears its ugly, taxpayer-funded head.
- Microsoft Announces Open Source for Windows 2000
Microsoft tries an embrace-and-extend strategy on Open Source Software.
- One Year of Humorix
We've thrown together a brief history of Humorix to take the place of real fake news.
- Ask Humorix: Tell Me the Future
A discusson panel peers into the future of Linux and gets eye strain.
- Jargon Coiner 1.0
We make up new jargon so you don't have to.
- Slashdot Simulator
Software For Nerds. Stuff That Simulates.
- Bloatware Comes To Linux
If it works for Microsoft, bloat can work for Linux!
- Boston Software Party
Where do you want your Microsoft software to go today?(tm)
- Dave Finton Usurps Humorix
A power outtage and a power grab strike Humorix.
- Their Trash, Our Chance To Make Billions
Humorix is much more than a mediocre Linux humor website...
- The Nerd Exchange
What happens when a Microserf gives a presentation in front of Linux User Group?
- Microsoft Mandatory Survey 1.1
If you want to receive bugfixes for Windows 98, you'll have to play by Microsoft's rules.
- Virgin Mary Relic Destroyed by Internet Cult
The operating system "holy war" takes an unexpected turn.
- The GPL Is Not Y2K-Compliant!
Will your license agreement be ready when January 1st rolls around?
- Yet Another Portal: SlashGrok
How to get your Slashdot fix, the easy way.
- When Computers Crash
The Blue Screen of Death has become a cultural icon.
- The Crystal Ball
Dave Finton takes a look at the future.
- OzLinux Project Announced
What's the latest way to make a political statement? Start your own Linux distro.
- Review: "Stranger in a Slashdot Land"
Jon Splatz reviews a book about a marketing major who enters the strange Land of Slashdot.
- Humorix Files for IPO
Within a few short months you could have the opportunity to own a piece of Humorix.
- New OS Released: Yodix
All Yoda, all the time.
- Microsoft Conspiracy Theories
Just about any fact can be twisted around to produce a Microsoft conspiracy theory.
- "Linux-killer" Looming on Horizon
An upstart OS from Redmond challenges Linux's domination.
- Linux Portal Mini-HOWTO
Humorix presents a detailed guide to creating your own "Linux portal".
- Linux Hackers Evolve into Higher Lifeforms
Linux represents the next step in human evolution.
- Stallman's Latest Scheme
RMS plans to create an operating system incompatible with proprietary software.
- Could You Get Fined For Downloading Linux?
Adult material isn't the only thing the pending Net censorship bill in Australia would outlaw.
- Avalanche of Contests
Many Linux-related contests have been announced as publicity stunts.
- I Got Your Virtual Property Right Here!
Jon Splatz refutes the idea that "virtual property" is a revolutionary new concept.
- BSOD Simulator
Nobody will have to know you're running Linux instead of Windows.
- Follow-Up: Open Source Action Figures
McLinux Action Figures: Collect All Four!
- The War Against Linux
Achieving World Domination is never peaceful.
- Ask Humorix: Polite Flaming
The Humorix Oracle demonstrates the polite way to flame a clueless pundit.
- Turning Crashes Into Cash
Computer Maintenance Organizations (CMOs) could be the next big thing.
- Invasion of the Dancing Penguin
The Dancing Paper Clip is only the beginning.
- New Crime Identified: "Tech Rage"
Now is not a good time to be a Microsoft employee.
- Ask Humorix: Financial Independence
The Humorix Oracle is always happy to provide valuable information about "business opportunities".
- GNUdist Vacation Contest
Think free vacations, not free beer.
- Nude Source Initiative Launched
Sick of the term "Open Source"? You might want to consider "Nude Source" instead.
- Bill Gates' Visit to Copenhagen
A Humorix operative reports on his spying activities in Denmark.
- Linux Holy Wars and Romance
Dave Finton takes a closer look at the ubiquitous holy war.
- Humorix Site Cracked!
I hate April Fools day.
- Humor Sites Sued For Real
It may have started as an April Fool's gag, but now things have turned ugly...
- Genetically Altered Insects Capable of Transmitting Computer Viruses
They may look harmless at first, but they have their targets set on your computer.
- April Fool's Day Predictions
Humorix makes some wild predictions about the pranks that will be played on April Fool's Day.
- Attack of the Tuxissa Virus
While the pundits were busy talking about the Melissa Virus, a new, more powerful, virus has emerged.
- And Now A Word From Our Lawyer...
Humorix's lawyer presents an editorial on several issues that are bothering him.
- Follow-Up: Apple Sues McDonalds
Apple and McDonalds go head to head over MkLinux and McLinux.
- Descent into Microsoft (Part 4)
Splatz reaches the end of his odyssey to obtain a Windows refund.
- Linux ExpoWorld Conference
It's an expo about Linux expos.
- Do You Want Fries With That?
Move over Tux Penguin, Ronald McDonald is here.
- Linux Card Game
Microsoft bashing enters the realm of role-playing card games.
- The Demise of Linux
Long time Linux users are abandoning the OS in droves.
- Open Source Irrational Constant
What happens when you combine ASCII, PI, and a scientist with too much time on his hands?
- Is Windows Antique?
A new antique mall in Silicon Valley thinks so.
- Attack of the Venture Capitalists
Following the series of announcements of new "Linux portal" sites at LinuxWorld Expo, Venture Capitalists have been very busy.
- Humorix: We're a Portal, Too!
If VA Research, Red Hat, Linux Magazine, and countless others can run "Linux portals", so can Humorix.
- Programmer's Points: "Hello, Linux!"
Humorix's new programming expert demonstrates how easy it is to write a "Hello, World!" program in BASIC.
- Slashdot Effect Prevention Kit
One disgruntled webmaster is fighting back against the dreaded Slashdot Effect.
- HumorWorld Expo
San Jose isn't the only location for a major convention.
- Descent into Microsoft (Part 3)
Jon Splatz describes his adventures at the Windows Refund Day rally.
- Dear Valued Customer
Is it possible to get a Linux refund?
- Descent into Microsoft (Part 2)
Jon Splatz obtains a leaked Microsoft memo, "The President's Day Document".
- Microsoft ActivePromo Campaign
Microsoft's marketing department innovates new methods of hype.
- Descent into Microsoft (Part 1)
Jon Splatz introduces his endeavor to obtain a Windows refund.
- Copenhagen Prepares for Gates
Bill Gates wants to acquire the cream pie industry in Denmark.
- Slashdot Baiting
How to exploit the Slashdot Effect to achieve financial independence. Then again, maybe not.
- Ask Humorix: Printer Fire
Don't let the daemons set fire to your printer.
- Update: More Pink Slips
The Linux Advocacy Crackdown continues.
- Review: "The Linux Revolution"
Humorix's new pundit, Jon Splatz, reviews this sci-fi book about a universe without Linux.
- "Millennium Penguin" TV Show
Tux the Penguin stars in a new animated TV series.
- Prizepatrol.net Domain Squabble
What do Linux Mall and Publishers Clearing House have in common?
- SimNoosphere Game Announced
Your mission: Linux World Domination.
- Ask Humorix: Portal Mania
The Humorix Oracle gives some quality financial advice.
- 'Dumb' Virus Hits Ziff-Davis
It's just so easy to poke fun at Ziff-Davis.
- Ed Puts Foot in Muth
Microsoft unveils new anti-competitive strategy... for blackjack.
- Official Humorix 1999 Predictions
Where will Linux be in another year? We certainly don't know the answer.
- "Toilet Vortex" Produces Red Hat 10.0
Linux software is now available in the bathroom.
- Linux Advocacy Crackdown
Could you get fired for advocating Linux?
- Santa Tux Sightings
Santa Claus has some competition.
- Transmeta: Front for Illegal Immigration
Transmeta's secret is revealed.
- Microsoft Open Source Solitaire
Solitaire becomes the latest battleground in the Cathedral vs. Bazaar war.
- Humorix Holiday Gift Guide
Getting presents for the Linux lovers on your gift list just got a little easier.
- Barney Attacks Tux Penguin
Purple dinosaurs don't like penguins.
- Crack(pot) Scientist Warns of 'Black Hole Problem'
Y2K is only the beginning.
- The /dev/null Mystery
/dev/null might not be what it seems to be.
- I Come Not to Praise ZDNet ...
Ziff-Davis gets a taste of its own medicine.
- Santa Claus Adopts Linux
Yes, Virginia, Microsoft software crashes frequently.
- Geekfeld TV Show
One TV network takes aim at nerds.
- The Movement Formerly Known As Open Source
The Open Source trademark dispute has an easy solution.
- Linux Moody Swings
It's as easy as ABC: Fred Moody likes to use FUD.
- Lenox and Lennox Linux Distros
The proliferation of new Linux distros is getting out of hand...
- Nerds Panic Over Slashdot Outtage, Again
Everyone talks about Slashdot outtages, but nobody does anything about it.
- Update: Oops... There's No Conspiracy
Humorix contains no subliminal messages.
- Humorix Conspiracy Exposed!
Forget Trojan Horses, subliminal messages will be the fall of Linux!
- Linux Dominates Academic Research
Research for Nerds. Stuff that Makes Good Grades.
- Linux Boycott Campaign Formed
Believe it or not, Windows NT has its share of flaming zealots, just like any other OS.
- Open Source Taxes
Could this be the work of a certain Redmond-based company?
- Operation Desert Slash
The Slashdot Effect is a deadly weapon.
- Archeaologists Unearth "Ooga!" Document
Open source wheels for everyone!
- Update: Linux vs. Redmond University
Linux University faces Redmond and welcomes Robert X. Cringley.
- 'Christmas' Document Leaked
Red Hat is worried about a small start-up company based in Redmond, WA.
- Linux University Coming Soon
Knowledge for Nerds. Stuff that Educates.
- Linux Ported to Homer Simpson's Brain
DebianBrain Linux beat out Windows CE as the operating system for Homer's new piece of silicon.
- Microsoft Hires Infinite Number of Monkeys
Which is harder to produce: Shakespeare or Windows?
- Trick-or-Treating, Nerd Style
Normal people give candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Nerds hand out CD-ROMs.
- Windows 2000 and Linux 2200
Windows 2000: The real Year 2000 Problem.
- Could You Get Fired for Visiting Slashdot?
Visit Slashdot and recieve a free pink slip!
- SlackToast Linux vs. Windows TNT
Whatever happened to plain old non-computerized toasters?
- Linux for Two Cans Strung Together, v.0.0.1a
Linux now runs on Dinty Moore hardware.
- Update: Linux Actually Decreases Electricity Use
"Cold fusion" is much more than a website server tool.
- Increased Electricity Consumption Blamed on Linux
Linux could be bad for the environment.
- Atlanta Pundit Showcase
A Linux showcase or a pundit showcase -- which would you rather attend?
- Quickies from the Rumor Mill
Is Linux vaporware? Will Taco Bell sue Rob Malda? Is Elvis a new kernel feature?
- Tux Penguin Boxing Match
Tux Penguin vs. the BSD Daemon -- who will win?
- Linux Drinking Game
A perfect excuse to drink mass quantities of alcohol, all in the name of Linux World Domination.
- Game Shows Endorse Linux
"I'll take Microsoft Bashing for $200, Alex."
- New Linux Distro: Proactive Synergy Linux
Linux is now buzzword-compliant.
- Linus to Appear on Letterman
It's better than Jerry Springer.
- Girl Scouts to Sell Linux
Forget cookies, Linux is the new fund raising king.
- Update: Slashdot Panic Over
Thousands of nerds breathe a sigh of relief.
- Nerds Panic Over Slashdot Outtage
Where were you the day Slashdot died?
- Stallman's Latest Proclamation
GNU/Linux is only the beginning.
- Microsoft FUD Campaign Exposed
Internal Microsoft e-mails reveal yet another sinister plan.
- Richard Stallman and Bill Gates meet in airport lobby; thousands killed in resulting explosion
What happens when Richard Stallman and Bill Gates meet at an airport terminal? A matter/anti-matter explosion, of course!
- Microsoft Acquires Nothing
Industry pundits are flabbergasted that Microsoft refrained from acquiring any rival companies for a full week!
- Are You Addicted to Slashdot?
A group of recovering "Dotheads" have formed the Slashdot Addicts Support Group.
- Secret Diary of Linus Torvalds Unleashed
Bill Gates isn't the only personality to have his own Secret Diary on the Web.
- Update: Slashdot Acquisition Rumors False
Reports of Slashdot's death were greatly exaggerated.
- Linux Milestone Reached
Who knew the ls command could cause such an uproar?
- Microsoft to Acquire Slashdot?
Slashdot might be a target for Microsoft Assimilation.
- Church of Linux Established
A group of Silicon Valley Linux users think that Linus Torvalds' middle name is "God".
- Southern Baptists Boycott Linux
The Baptists claim that certain Linux commands are offensive.
- Tux Penguin Beanie Baby Sales Skyrocket
After dismal sales of "Billy the Billionaire", Ty is proud to present "Tux the Penguin".
- Linux Infiltrates Windows NT Demo
Linux enthusiasts are able to spoil a Microsoft demo.
- Open Source Beer Revolution
Hackers like beer. Hackers like open source. Therefore, open source beer is the obvious result.
- Nerdzilla Browser Project
Nerds can now surf the Web in style.
- Flame-a-Thon Site Launched
CmdrTaco tries to solve the GNOME vs. KDE flame war problem.
- Microsoft Simulator 1.0 Released
A new game lets you play the part of Bill Gates.
- Penguin Escaped from Bristol Zoo
Tux Penguin escapes from the Bristol Zoo and takes a trip to the local computer store.
- Bogus Windows NT CD-ROMs Recalled
Linux wins another round against NT.
- 'Kitchen Sink' OS Announced
Now emacs has it all.
- 'Linux Virgins' Site Launched
The Net is abuzz about www.ourfirstlogin.com.
- Linux-Mobile vs. Microsoft WinCar
An addendum to the old "What If Microsoft Made Cars?" joke.
- Texas Instruments Debuts Linux-Based TI-99 Calculator
Math tests will never be the same again.
- "CmdrBurrito" Launches Slashdot.org Parody
"CmdrBurrito" makes his debut.
- Linux Rally Held in Pennsylvania
Normal protestors throw rocks, Linux enthusiasts throw CD-ROMs.
- Top Ten Ways to Pronounce 'Linux'
- Jargon File to be Updated
You know Slashdot has arrived when it's mentioned in the Jargon File.
- Missouri Town Changes Name to 'Linux'
Some small towns will do anything for publicity.
- Red Hat Unveils New Ad Campaign
Linux: a century ahead of the competition.
- 'Slashdot Effect' Causes Havoc in Redmond
Microsoft becomes Slashdot Effect Victim Number 4,412.
- 'Mush' Version 0.1 Released
The Microsoft User SHell hits the Net.
- Microsoft to Port Solitaire to Linux?
The time wasting program comes to Linux.
- New Linux Distro: Red Neck Linux
Shutting down system... ya'll come back now, y'here?
- Mad Programmer Commits Suicide
"Dougnix" is no match for Linux.
- Could You Get Fired for Not Choosing Linux?
Newsflash: Burst finally writes an editorial without using any FUD!